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Thread: Containment

  1. #11
    Member Patterns's Avatar
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    Jesus.

    You already know how I feel about your taking something instinctual, and turning it into something explicit.

    Thank you.

  2. #12
    kant
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    Hall of fame thread. Though i do think its ironic ij that you call almost every PUA concept bullshit / mental masturbation and then you come up with the most abstract theoretical stuff ever

    As I've improved I've noticed my level of 'containment' rise naturally. Last night I met up with a cute 18 year old from online game, and fifteen minutes later we were sitting at the bar and the sexual tension was so high that she jumped me (as a rule I don't kiss or do anything sexual until we're in my room). She couldn't help herself, the sexual tension was so high due to containment. I just said "I need to get my cigarettes" and we were in my room banging ten minutes later.

    What I would call advanced game: dominance / power and control + sexual state / containment. If you have these you can lead her to sex whenever you want.

    Interestingly enough none of these things have anything to do with what you say or do

  3. #13
    Member hangman's Avatar
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    Restraint, is what I like to call it. (And its probably not my original word.)

    Restraint is basically escalation and takeaway packed into one simmering combo. Powerful shit.

  4. #14
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 4 votes.

    Here is a summary of the 'last leg' of PU that I compiled for the guide that tub is working on. I think it helps illustrate the containment-principal, so Im storing a copy here for reference. (And thanks to hangman for coming up with a more intuitively meaningful term! Everyone, lets use term 'restraint' from now on.)


    Restraint a.k.a. the 0% LMR Method

    Mandatory: Ignore any advice that suggests a progressive escalation. When things 'heat up'/'escalate', it MUST happen with an definite degree of mutuality. (If you get 'resistance', its because you tried to escalate progressively!)

    Mandatory: Get her sitting next to you. (E.g. start a movie or episode on your laptop, so she _has_ to sit close to you to watch it.)

    Mandatory: Get some form of kino going, but remember: dont 'escalate' it on your own.

    Mandatory: Never undress girls. When things heat up, just do stuff like rubbing and dry-humping until she herself starts removing clothes.

    Kissing advice: Restraint + mixing things up, builds horniness the fastest. Proven techniques are:
    -move lips near hers.. when she goes in, back up repeatedly until she frustrated, then grab and kiss her HARD
    -put lips gently against ear and rotate tongue slowly around ear opening - move it down to ear lobe - stick it very gently into her ear canal
    -run fingers up back and neck, and make light fist with her hair - tighten as makeout progresses
    -let kissing trail her chin and neck down to her chest and up again
    -nibble her chin, neck and ear lobes

    Sex advice: Restraint builds horniness the fastest. Proven techniques are:
    -Rub slowly towards pussy but make a turn so you barely miss it.
    -When rubbing pussy, just graze it.
    -When licking pussy, don't dive in. Home in slowly. Lick inner thighs a lot, barely touching pussy when you change side. Take time licking areas *close* to the pussy before licking IT.
    -When time to put it in, don't! Rub clit with head of cock and put only head inside. Go back and forth between rubbing and putting only head inside.
    -When fucking, start *very* slow and focus on getting maximum range of motion with every thrust. Accelerate much slower than she wants to, or not at all.

    Mandatory: If things fail to heat up/progress while watching on laptop or similar, simply proclaim "Its so late. You should sleep over. Its ok we can just sleep." ..then proceed to pulling out clean sheets for the bed. Once in bed, cuddle up and keep the kino going, including breathing on her neck and smelling her hair.

    End of method.

    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    Click the '>>' above to go to guide thread
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  5. #15
    Member Galaxy's Avatar
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    You summed up a solution to my last FR in a way that seems more organic and congruent with my style.

    HoF thread.
    THREAD Illuminatus' male episodic memory versus female emotional memory is a great reminder about the premise that women love their feelings and if you associate yourself with these feelings you're in, at least in that particular moment.

  6. #16
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    Im _always_ reminded of this thread when I see someone perform on a stage. I have heard several people refer to it as..

    gravity (gravitas?)

    which possibly could be a better word than 'containment', for several reasons, if I understand the stage-context of this term correctly. (As in the direct opposite of 'fluttering'..?)


    Anyone here with stage experience, who care to elaborate a bit on how 'gravity' is added to a performance?
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  7. #17


    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 2 votes.

    Ah man, this was a real cool thread to read and it helped a little with some thought I've been having recently.

    I've been holding a thread idea in my mind to write about called Vibe Windows, Fractionation, and Holding the Gap (Restraint--> Contrast --> Vacuum) that is connected with this post.

    There are a couple cool things from that idea, you might like.

    1. It is a mistake to employ actions outside of their intended vibe. In fact, that is the very definition of "forcing" in my eyes and off the top of my head I can think of three common ways forcing takes place. Disconnection, expectation or desperation, which brings about the initiation of actions before the vibe is in place, after it has peaked, or after it has changed. What this intimates is that there is a kind of expanding and contracting dynamic vibe window that it pays to slow down and be hooked into. And it pays to keep an even keel so one will not be self-blinded by the three (or more) ways of forcing.

    2. With the understanding of vibe windows, comes the understanding and application of fractionation, because fractionation is about the cycling or patterning of different/contrasting vibe windows aaaannnnd the understanding of why linear escalations are stupid. However, there is a lot of nuance to both the macro of vibe fractionation and the micro of action fractionation within a single vibe window or closely related vibe windows. The point being that there are different degrees of fractionation which changes the degree of affect, so much more than rudimentary push/pull. In between such a polarity is a whole bounty of different shades to play with, stack, and cycle (Like in Cosy's example about dancing, fractionating with style to create that distance/gap, but not so much for it fuck with I guess sex trance's overall primacy in the vibe window stack/pattern).

    3. What one and two create is a diverse eco-system of emotional enjoyment which get's it's uumph from holding the gaps created by these contrasting actions and windows.

    Meh, it's rough and still needs some time to bake in the oven of my mind, but it's pretty cool.

    Oh and about eye contact... I can't recall if I mentioned this before, but I've differentiated my eye contact with a kind of 5 point scale, based on the feel of the WEIGHT of my gaze. There is more available than just the black and white of direct contact vs peripheral, but a range in between. I use this range for a lot of things, like approaching, sneaking up on wild animals (making cats act all afc), but also managing awareness recognition of the people around me. For instance, I can do what Gun I guess calls paimai or hover with just my eyes, by brushing the sides of their periphery with the weight of my gaze, which spurs them to look at me directly, which allows me to then be pulled by them into looking at them directly, which creates that opening, blahblahblah.

    Anyways... I'll write more in depth about all this when the time is right.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    [Predators gauge distance to prey by staring intensively. This behavior is so strongly ingrained that throughout animal kingdom, that there is extra sensory processing dedicated to JUST detect being stared at (danger). If you observe cats carefully, you can often see them looking in all kinds of weird directions other than the direction of the tree where the little birds just landed.. so sneaky!]
    Wow, this surely explains one the mysteries I've always experienced in life. When I'm doing something like walking down the street, and inexplicably look in a very random and unnatural direction such as to the left behind me, and there is someone staring at me. It's happened way too many times. My body no doubt must have picked up that I was being stared at, even though it was out of my field of vision. Fucking hell.

  9. #19
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    Containment & Vibing

    -Some actors have a 'thing'.
    -Ill call it Blank Face Expressiveness, for lack of better word.
    -The Mel Gibson 'blank face of vengeful anger' is one example.
    -By some held as the height of 'great acting'..

    Why mention?
    -Because vibes are becoming increasingly part of how we exchange/describe PU advice.
    -Like all things (and possibly even more so) vibes benefit from containment.
    -Could one go as far as to say vibes ARE containment, hence their power?
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  10. #20



    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    -Could one go as far as to say vibes ARE containment, hence their power?
    Interesting question. Perhaps it's a little like the end goal of Tai Chi to expend as little energy as possible to the greatest effect. You can push someone away using all the strength of your muscles (expending a lot of energy) OR you can learn to do the same without even touching him. The former attempts to control something on the outside while the latter attempts to control yourself and thus allow the outside world to appropiately align with your actions. In a way the end result can be similar to the control-attempt, but the path to your goals is very different, plus it allows you to sometimes create the seemingly impossible.

    Another aspect could be something I've noticed a lot lately: as soon as I catch myself wanting something to happen, I often get lost in my mind and try to construct strategies for getting what I want, which creates obstacles in my mind that aren't even there. As long as I stay in the allowance-state, things do happen when everything is ready to happen. Like yesterday I was out and feeling kind of lacking of some human touch and found myself wanting to ask an old friend if I could sleep at her place (I wasn't horny really, I just wanted the company of a warm female body somehow), which of course didn't work out too well for above reasons. But as soon as I realized that I was beginning to enter the "I want this now"-state and contained myself once more, I saw another woman I had wished to talk with for a long time so I allowed myself to walk over to her and did, which turned out to be a great experience we'll probably continue in the near future. After waking up today morning (by myself) I realized that it's been about 6 months since I last went out and came home by myself and it was after all quite nice to experience that once again. I probably could have pushed myself to "make things happen" and slept at that friend's place, but I've come to trust over the years that if I find myself in a state of allowance for whatever is meant to happen to happen, I might not get what I think I want but I get what I need which is much more important.

    Lastly, and connected to what I wrote above, if you try to push a situation to turn out the way you want it to, it's a form of control, and while some women do crave this type of relating to them, others are kind of untrusting about it. So if you do radiate what you want but contain yourself from forcing it to happen, it allows a woman to either a) allow it to happen as well in which case things will develop naturally or b) not allow it to happen for whatever reason, a reason that would probably complicate things anyway later on, leading to last-minute resistance or buyer's remorse or something.

    Jester

    P.S.: Another thing I've noticed is that the concept of "vibes" might be very difficult to understand for certain people is because to just "feel the mood" depends on an ability relatively few people seem to have developed to the extent that they can use it, I call it "emotional sense" and I'd think it is a separate sense from your usual ones like your eyes or your ears. A few years back I used to think I was reading people's body language sub-consciously or something but I've found I was able to sense people's emotions even when I was talking to them on the phone or (which completely blew my mind before I discovered about the existence of another sense) at times even without having any obvious form of contact while they were a few hundred kilometres away. This special sense allows me to just know which women are attracted to me which allows me to be quite calm about most situations: I know for certain what is likely to develop and what isn't. Which could also add to the "power of vibes" since it allows you a sense of inner peace.
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