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  1. #31
    Member thecostofsuccess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kit View Post
    its funny. i was just thinking about how i sometimes when i want to get laid and spot guys that may feel like it too, just assume one of those 3 roles, according to how the guy wants a girl to be/has his female archetype ideas.
    edit: oh actually 4 roles

    Some guys expect themselves to be seen dominant and expect a girl to be very submissive in order to feel confident about her interest in him and her value as a girl


    Others want a girl who is like challenging, a conquest, with a sharp tongue who they can win over

    others just see their girl as someone equal.. they feel confused by the genderroles, some of them even have never been with a girl.. and you have the best bet with them by just being friendly and seeing how slowly you can both escalate step by step, skirting boundaries of society at what kind of interactions they feel okay with.

    then you have the kind of guys that want to pamper you or see you as a girl they want to buy stuff for.. the kinda girl you would call a pretty princess type. thats how they see girls they wouls go to bed with...

    dunno it's funny how getting a guy to make a move involves taking one of these types if you want him to go to bed with you quickly.. it's like different guys have different styles of girls they feel confident seducing.. and dare to make a move with..

    sometimes i feel like a chameleon.. adapting to my partner when i want something.. (sex, money, some kind of favor)

    edit: just realised that my first onenightstand was with a guy who liked the challenging girl

    my last time sex was with someone who saw me as smth between submissive and pretty princess, but also needed the equal part to feel wanted/comfortable I think.. the submissiveness was what made him go hot and the pretty princess part was what he felt he should make me feel like/who/what i was?. Dunno. weird.

    the time before was with an equal..

    i notice guys who peg you for pretty princess often feel like mentioning what you look like, how sexy you are, they feel like they need to tell you you, as a girl, are desirable to them. So weird. They also use more of their body to seduce you, put their arm around your shoulders, pull you into their side. Dunno weird to realise this.

    cool perspective
    just so you know, those needs from guys are situationally dependent not locked in stone, they just might appear locked in stone cuz the guy sees YOU one way because he sees YOU in one situation
    that is a very important distinction to understand

    Umm... its like this
    sharp tongued girls can be a good thing when you feel rapport is already there, like in a social group, or in a sports arena, or where everyne is expeected to be sedate like a library, because it stirs up a question of "do we connect on another level that ignores this situation"
    But in a situation where there is no common rapport like on the street or at a party where the guy doesn't know you, or where you have a different standing than him, he'll take it as though you are vulgar or aggressive towards him (like some chick with no shoes yelling on the street).

    Submission expectations are likely to happen where you look sexier, so clubs, or events, or bonfires. But in other places, he does that and is no doubt flagged as a creeper.

    Pampering is when a guy doesn't wanna rock the boat, like you seem busy, or overly engaged in other stuff... He'll not do that in very casual situations where your time is obviously free.

    The equal stuff is when they feel that a connection is within reach, that you aren't likely to reject them. They wont do this if this is boring or the connection is implied (if you are in really close quarters dudes might see it as sappy to do this)



    There will eventually be guys that do not fit this mold though. So you should be a little careful thinking we as men can be described these ways. They are actually just "considerations" or lack of consideration the guy is making at the time, and them reading the response of the girl regarding if it is ok to continue.
    Each guy is theoretically capable of each given the right stimulus, and also can like a girl in each situation but so long as it doesnt create a level of unattainability because it is contextually out of place and shocks him.

    Some guys will fit NONE of these molds and give off no signals you can rely on.
    If you fall into habits as trying to define and manipulate it'll make you feel embarassed.
    This is cuz you actually are being caught offguard sincee you aren't aware that guys can eventually trancend this and control it at will.

    See if a dude willfully controls it, you can't PICK one route, you have to ask yourself the question "what route do I want", so h can acknowledge your choice and go with you on that choice. And if you don't LIKE that choice anymore, he is fine changing :P so you just need to show a purposeful shift and maybe a "hey, this way" type response in case he isnt paying attention.

    Point is, best not to confuse it, there is plenty to worry about outside of stuff like this, so it is best these adjustments are done efficiently, not labored upon, and held against anyone.

    Also somettimes dudes will trancend things you manipulate so you should have thought of a contingency :P

  2. #32
    Member Kit's Avatar
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    what if your issue is that you never really want to follow (through on) any of those..
    and you notice a guy putting you in one of these categories subconsciously.. without realising it?

    I mean.. I never realised I follow and switched through types and styles (as well) so much till now :P

    Quote Originally Posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
    cool perspective
    just so you know, those needs from guys are situationally dependent not locked in stone, they just might appear locked in stone cuz the guy sees YOU one way because he sees YOU in one situation
    that is a very important distinction to understand
    uhuh
    But it's hard, cause when you switch out of their perspective type.. some of them get superconfused and some of them get angry..
    To interact easily it's easier to stay with the type than go away from it
    (the open ones are ok though, the ones i usually like, when you move away)

    It's like.. they feel confused and insecure when you move away from one type to something that doesn't suit/go with what they expect/want you to be like in that moment/situation..

    Lately I usually just play bystander/observer.. I don't mingle too much or go into any real convo's with guys though.
    edit: sexually staying away, not friendshipwisestaying away
    Last edited by Kit; 12-02-2016 at 03:12 PM.

  3. #33
    Member thecostofsuccess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kit View Post
    what if your issue is that you never really want to follow (through on) any of those..
    and you notice a guy putting you in one of these categories subconsciously.. without realising it?

    I mean.. I never realised I follow and switched through types and styles (as well) so much till now :P



    uhuh
    But it's hard, cause when you switch out of their perspective type.. some of them get superconfused and some of them get angry..
    To interact easily it's easier to stay with the type than go away from it
    (the open ones are ok though, the ones i usually like, when you move away)

    It's like.. they feel confused and insecure when you move away from one type to something that doesn't suit/go with what they expect/want you to be like in that moment/situation..

    Lately I usually just play bystander/observer.. I don't mingle too much or go into any real convo's with guys though.
    edit: sexually staying away, not friendshipwisestaying away
    Ha, I'm kinda relieved you don't like it.
    I dunno how to avoid em getting pissy.
    I dunno, I'll think about it.

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