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  1. #21



    Quote Originally Posted by zylya View Post
    This just sounds like limiting beliefs at play - "I could never do it" "it wouldn't be worth it anyway" "I'm satisfied where I am."
    Zylya,
    You do not think a man can really feel that way? I mean, feel like what he has got is way better? There is no chance?

  2. #22
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    Zyla,

    Since age 22 or so, I have not been a victim of self-limiting beliefs -- if anything I have been a victim of too-lofty expectations. Of this I am sure: if there were any conversations in the direction of open marriage, there wouldn't be an unbroken dish in the house. My wife is sensitive, and if you cross her, she goes 50 shades of cray.

    To me, not believing that monogamy is possible is a self-limiting belief. I recognize that our situation is unique to us. Other situations may warrant different relationship configurations.

  3. #23



    Quote Originally Posted by SteelyDan View Post
    Zyla,

    Since age 22 or so, I have not been a victim of self-limiting beliefs -- if anything I have been a victim of too-lofty expectations. Of this I am sure: if there were any conversations in the direction of open marriage, there wouldn't be an unbroken dish in the house. My wife is sensitive, and if you cross her, she goes 50 shades of cray.

    To me, not believing that monogamy is possible is a self-limiting belief. I recognize that our situation is unique to us. Other situations may warrant different relationship configurations.
    SteelyDan,
    I would like to mention to you that before my husband brought this up to me that seriously, I was ready to kill him at one mention of polygamy jokes, any comment about anyone's attractiveness, if I saw him looking at someone, if I felt he is paying attention to ANY female besides me. I am your perfect example of uber-jealous wife, that wants her husband all for herself... And look where it got me. And I am still coping with my jealousy.

  4. #24
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    Yeah, but my wife actually screams and breaks stuff when she is upset. That goes a long way (and to me, it's hawt). She comes from a culture of powerful women, similar to my mom. I'm used to it, but I don't think most guys could handle it.

    Any persuasive technique can be boiled down to creating a cost benefit curve that is favorable to the desired outcome. Whether or not she knows what she is doing, it works.

  5. #25



    Quote Originally Posted by SteelyDan View Post
    Yeah, but my wife actually screams and breaks stuff when she is upset. That goes a long way (and to me, it's hawt). She comes from a culture of powerful women, similar to my mom. I'm used to it, but I don't think most guys could handle it.

    Any persuasive technique can be boiled down to creating a cost benefit curve that is favorable to the desired outcome. Whether or not she knows what she is doing, it works.
    What is her background?

  6. #26
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    if I posted it, my anonymity would be compromised. Check your PMs.

  7. #27



    Quote Originally Posted by SteelyDan View Post
    if I posted it, my anonymity would be compromised. Check your PMs.
    Got it. Well, I think my background is even more fiery - I am Russian. Just the kind of person BD says he would never date ))

  8. #28
    Member Lovergirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteelyDan View Post
    if I posted it, my anonymity would be compromised. Check your PMs.
    Well, now you have us all wondering.... though Latina women are known for their feistiness, lol. My sister that is half Peruvian is always telling me to be more violent. She thought I should throw a pitcher of tea at my ex husband when he was lying on the porch getting a tan instead of helping out with the kids, stuff like that.

  9. #29
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    LG,

    I agree with your sister. I have been in relationships where My thoughts and actions went unchecked, and for one thing, I just don't like the leader-follower dynamic. It doesn't achieve at the same level as a balance of power partner dynamic.

    More importantly, I am just naturally attracted to confident sexy-smoldering fiery assertive women.

  10. #30
    Member The Thin Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteelyDan View Post
    Yeah, but my wife actually screams and breaks stuff when she is upset. That goes a long way (and to me, it's hawt).
    I think there is an insight in this... I was married for almost 15 years... To a fellow WASP and the first time we really fought was after she moved out, but as I have mentioned elsewhere she refused to have sex for many years. No passion out of bed seems to be related to no passion in bed.

    My OLTR who can fog up the bedroom windows on a good night... Does fight like a mongoose... She is Jewish, so her style tends less towards plate throwing and more towards astounding if witty sarcasm, and a jaw dropping skill at combining swearwords in new and creative ways.

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