In my case I think the difference between cum/not cum has a lot more to do with the woman's skill and effort than my emotional attachment. However, that would be a stupid assumption to generalize that and say "LG, you suck at BJ and have no skill because the guy didn't cum." The real point here is to help LG with some helpful ideas that might make it happen but if this dude still doesn't cum, it does not mean that he or she is not into it. That give it meaning that may or may not be accurate.
It's not that I don't enjoy it. I truly do. It's got nothing to do with connection either. It's just that I like vaginal sex way better. Or I could of course put it another way; it's just not possible for me to get that into getting a bj, since it doesn't really do anything for me. At times it can even be an annoying stop before actual sex, especially if the girl really wants to prove something for me, while all I want is to fuck her brains out.
I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)
Instead of vanilla sex, maximise pleasure through perversity or reckless abandon... e.g. dirty talk, role-play, BDSM, public places etc. He'll either come or have fun trying...
Yeah, I mean I'm FULLY enjoying it the whole time, so that's not an issue, I'm not getting sore (well unless we are talking about my ass, haha, but we don't do that for a very long time). Still if he wanted to cum more quickly I would be okay with it. Maybe I need to make it clear to him that its okay to be selfish sometimes (not all the time, some guys would run with this but probably not him). I'm not sure how to express this to him in a way that he will believe me, but I will see what I can do.During my early adulthood, I used to take pride in my endurance even though it wasn't always as good for me as I wanted it to be, but all for the woman! I couldn't have been more wrong, and I didn't see it until a gf of mine told me that 1) she just got sore after a while, and 2) sometimes she liked really quick sex more than long winded sessions. She also said that sometimes she enjoyed it more when the dude didn't give a fuck about how she felt, and just enjoyed the hell outta her for purely egotistical reasons.
I have had long, drawn out sex that I wished would end faster, but that's not what is going on here at all. We both seem to be having a lot of fun... It's just not ending in a climax for him.
Yeah, that's a good thing.This was a great relief for me, because suddenly I was sorta allowed to cum whenever the hell I wanted to, which of course pleased me a whole damn lot while it also made me appreciate my gf even more. Now it gives me a lot of options as to what role I want to play in bed, i.e. that of the selfless giver, or the selfish taker, or if I want to go slow or fast.
I'm not sure. When I commented that he could probably get himself there in under two minutes he said no he can't and that he doesn't even jack off because he would get carpal tunnel. That's all I have heard thus far....Just one more question: Can he cum on his own? If he can't, well, then you have your answer right there I'm afraid... However if he can, the answer is most likely psychological and related to self image problems like the one described above.
Hmmm... I will have to figure out how to get that message across. As far as fast, haha, he has gone REALLY fast a couple of times and it was a little scary in the moment but I'm sure I could handle it at least a little longer.The only advice I can think of: Make it clear to him that he can cum anytime he likes, even if he thinks it's too early. Also tell him that you sometimes like it fast. Give him those options, and I'm sure you can make him cum.
Never say never..... The times I have made a man cum with a bj who said he never did before, I actually always found out after the fact. Its too much pressure to have that hanging over my head and I lose incentive/enthusiasm when someone tells me it "can't" happen. It hasn't happened "yet" is a challenge, you "can't" do it, makes me feel defeated.One last note: I've never cummed from someone sucking my dick. It just can't be done. It doesn't turn me on in that way. While it's definitively is pleasant, it's just not as pleasant as fucking. However I found out that telling women this would instantly make it a challenge to them. So to all the guys out there, if you really like long blow jobs, tell her you've never cummed from one.
I have actually made at least a handful of guys cum with bj's that say they never did before. The one guy I am sleeping with regularly (the radio station guy, not the married man) says no one else ever made him cum with a blow job but I manage to do it every time, lol. My favorite technique works on a lot of guys, but not everyone. Some guys like things that I don't really like doing (deep throating, etc) and that makes it less likely. It just depends on the guy.
People can make whatever assumption they want but I can TELL he really enjoys it and is into it. He has said I've gotten him closer to cumming with a bj than anyone in his life and in the way that he said it, the way it was brought up, it sounded pretty sincere. I suspect he's pretty experienced in the bedroom too.In my case I think the difference between cum/not cum has a lot more to do with the woman's skill and effort than my emotional attachment. However, that would be a stupid assumption to generalize that and say "LG, you suck at BJ and have no skill because the guy didn't cum." The real point here is to help LG with some helpful ideas that might make it happen but if this dude still doesn't cum, it does not mean that he or she is not into it. That give it meaning that may or may not be accurate.
I can see that, there are times I feel that way when a guy is going down on ME too, but others when I really enjoy it. I think its one of those things thats always subject to change under the right circumstances. That's probably why women see it as a challenge. Plus its really the only thing we can prove we are "good at" in bed because most of the other stuff is the guy doing stuff to you...