This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.
I can see merit in this idea of people put others in boxes to fill roles for their own personal agendas. I get that and largely agree, but the idea that women do this and men don't do it right back to women is ridiculous. Kant you were and may still be meeting women on a weekly basis and putting them in a very casual box. They might have jumped right into bed with you and slotted you into a ONS box. You both did the same thing and it filled a need and worked well.
Originally Posted by kant
Not to long ago I broke up with a woman who consistently tried to put me in a box as her multiple lifetimes companion. She is still suffering from the breakup. It could be argued that she didn't love me but loved the box she wanted to put me in but the same could be said for men. Men are even worse than women for putting a woman in a box she doesn't want or isn't ready for. I mean lets face it looks are just huge for men so if she is super hot by your standards she goes in a top shelf box.
So it help keep this on topic for Drex, I think this box idea may seem kind of cruel and hardhearted but it can help you with relationship dynamics. Which box is she putting me in? Which one am I putting her in?
You have written that you are deeply concerned about the power in the relationship. I am going to present the idea that while you felt like you had a lot of power in your previous relationships, you had limited power. You were still in a low tier box but it was a lot higher than the one she was in of yours. The secret to keeping the power in relationships is to always be in a box that is lower than hers. You are always closer to the door than she is.
However, there are costs to keeping that power. among them: You will have limited feeling of NRE and euphoria. You will feel like you could do a little better. You can experience a roller coaster of feeling high and low in breakups because you use the woman to feel superior and if she ducks out suddenly part of your foundation is gone.