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  1. #1
    Rookie brainfreeze's Avatar
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    How To Get Back Into The Game

    Guys, how do I practice my conversation skills every day? I haven't been active for a long time and want to get back in by just getting my social skills back, but I'm open to other suggestions.

    I have 3 friends in my life in total, and none of them live here where I am. One comes here to sarge on weekends and I do plan to go out with him. I'm really rusty at the moment so cold approaching girls is really stressful and isn't the best option. I am going to start going to meetup.com groups just to chat with people, but I want to do more.

    Any ideas?
    “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  2. #2
    Member Kit's Avatar
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    ask people what you wonder about, be it in general about life, your surroundings, logistics, their opinions, their views, their looks, outward/inward.. ask whatever interests you and your bodylanguage will follow your words, which will make others react in the way they feel like and open up more.

    The most horrible thing to have is incongruency in thoughts, words, actions and bodylanguage && looks.

    People aint horrible when they feel you are grounded, regardless of your outer or inner person

  3. #3
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    I would recommend TTM and Bacchus "bubble technique". Read them all, then go to any meeting, clubs, social events you can find, consciously trying to hook ppl in with soft, then hard bubble. For now, you don't need to be flirty with girls, just make them curious about you, that's less stressful.

  4. #4
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    For PU you need to work on fitness, style, and find GIRLS to talk to. ('Conversation skills' sounds a bit useless to be honest..)
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  5. #5
    Member Kit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    For PU you need to work on fitness, style, and find GIRLS to talk to. ('Conversation skills' sounds a bit useless to be honest..)

    I disagree, i believe communication skills exist.. however i also believe anyone can use them or learn them.. since communicating is what you do from the moment you are born ;p

  6. #6
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    I agree kit. It was just something in the way he said it, that said 'cop-out' to me.
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  7. #7
    Rookie brainfreeze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    I agree kit. It was just something in the way he said it, that said 'cop-out' to me.
    I don't know about 'cop out' - more like putting a foundation in place before doing the advanced stuff (cold approach). I find it hard to socialise normally, as I haven't done it much the past few years.

    I've tried cold approach in the mall a lot, it's really stressful, and it's got to a point where I can't even get myself to open and go home.

    So what else am I to do?
    “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  8. #8
    Member Water's Avatar
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    Be more chatty in general in your life.

    Try working on online game too or picking up hobbies to meet people for friends and possibly dating prospects.

    And you can always work out and get a nice hair cut, whiten your teeth, tan, work on fashion.

  9. #9
    Member Uncle Walker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainfreeze View Post
    I don't know about 'cop out' - more like putting a foundation in place before doing the advanced stuff (cold approach). I find it hard to socialise normally, . . .
    I think this is exactly what IJ was picking up on. Cold approach is NOT advanced stuff. It is bedrock. It is where you learn if you don’t have a silver spoon. Brainfreeze you come in here and say “I don’t have any short cuts and I don’t want to do the obvious thing because it’s hard. Can you guys just sprinkle pixy dust on me and give this magical conversation skill thing?”

    You get the skill by practicing it. Way way to many guys here think they can read about it, learn all these fancy ideas and then finally go out in the real world and have it flow out of them in perfection and it will be easy. Just doesn’t work that way, sorry. Start approaching. Not because you think it will yield sudden massive success but because it will build skills and possibilities. At some point the approaches will start feeling less cold. Then many of the ideas you read about here will become useful.

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