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  1. #1
    Member Impulse's Avatar
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    Meditation to get grounded more

    So, Ive decided to add in a little bit of meditation to my daily routine to help me ground more. Taking the feedback here, I could do with raising my baseline and because I can sometimes have too much energy in a club/bar (not in a bad way, but its not ideal for connecting to people)

    Does anyone do this and what's the best method from your experience?

    Im thinking just a deep breathing exercise, and concentrating on my breath will do for now. Instead of closing my eyes and doing funny things in my head (which normally puts me to sleep lol)..plus it has to be time efficient. I dont know where people find like 60 minutes to meditate, thats way too much free time

    Whats the most effective yet simple form of meditation that works for you?

  2. #2
    Member pureevil's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    I'm actually fairly new to meditation myself (I've always done quiet time and reflective time, but not "shut down the mind" time until recently), and have found it immensely helpful right off the bat. I'm already taking new action in my work life that I've been putting off for years, that I feel has a direct correlation to becoming just a bit more in tune with my brain.

    I find taking 10 or so minutes after doing TRE exercises, to try to actively NOT think at all, is a very natural slot for meditation. The body is already in a fully relaxed state, so you can very easily become mindful with little physical/external distraction.

    What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. Its very easy to go down long thoughtful quiet mental paths where you're exploring an idea. . . but to actively try to stop thought from happening entirely is a very unique experience. Different thought processes keep firing at you from different directions, and in the process of shutting down one three more fire off. You think your mind is finally quiet for like 2 seconds then you realize you're thinking about how your mind is finally quiet and the dam breaks loose and the brain starts firing off again.

    At this point in my meditation experience, its all still a random haphazard assault of unwanted mental activity, but apparently these thought processes can be identified over time as you get more familiar with them (sometimes being traced back to certain events in your life that created the thought process) and thus you can gain significantly more control of your mind. I'm finding just at step 1 - making the attempt to quite my mind - I'm already gaining noticeable mental control.

    The thing is, even though meditation feels like an assault of unwanted uncontrollable mental activity to me right now, that I inevitably surrender to in full defeat within 15 minutes, I feel great afterwards.

    Really interesting stuff to me. The brain is a very interesting creature.

  3. #3
    Wicked DavidK's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Impulse View Post
    So, Ive decided to add in a little bit of meditation to my daily routine to help me ground more. Taking the feedback here, I could do with raising my baseline and because I can sometimes have too much energy in a club/bar (not in a bad way, but its not ideal for connecting to people)

    Does anyone do this and what's the best method from your experience?

    Im thinking just a deep breathing exercise, and concentrating on my breath will do for now. Instead of closing my eyes and doing funny things in my head (which normally puts me to sleep lol)..plus it has to be time efficient. I dont know where people find like 60 minutes to meditate, thats way too much free time

    Whats the most effective yet simple form of meditation that works for you?
    I do meditation on a on & off basis, like I will do it for a few days, maybe a week straight, then forget about it and remember once again when shit starts falling apart. It's very basic, just sitting down for ten minutes with eyes closed and focusing on the breath (take a few full, deep breaths first to relax) and re-focus whenever I notice thoughts coming up. I tried guided meditations, but those didn't feel as impactful (there's a compassion/love guided meditation that I'm still interested in trying that's been recommended by a few people I look up to)

    Couple of years ago I did take a month long class, where we'd meditate for up to 45 min at a time - that was brutal! It did help with the "being grounded" but it was not fun, not something I would look for in the day. After 45 min in terms of "relaxedness" is like smoking a big joint, everything feels like it's moving in slow motion.

    One more thing I do when it comes to being a grounded, happy fella is dedicating 5 - 10 min / day (or every other day) for a gratitude routine, which essentially means just saying out loud the things that I'm grateful for in my life and why. I'm actually recording each of those sessions on my phone so I can compare the thought patterns/things that I appreciate in my life in like 12 months.

    This is something I'd very much recommend, especially for guys who find themselves in confrontational/negative thought patterns often.
    Get the FREE ebook "What Killed Your Sex Appeal? 5 Awful Mistakes That Men Make With Their Image" and remove cockblocks from your wardrobe.

  4. #4
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 1.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Im not a fan of meditation.

    We have a relaxing exercise for improved posture in Alexander Technique though, and its pretty great:
    http://alexandertechnique.com/constructiverest/
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  5. #5
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    hey ijjjjji, are you a fan of the alexander Technique?

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    I mediate twice to 3 times a day, 10-15mins per session, almost everyday:

    In the morning, before work, I meditate on my life mission, imagine the scene, feeling, emotion when I achieve it.

    Before going out with friends or date, I meditate on alpha, mPUA role-models like Vin Diesel or Ryan Gosling, imagine their coolest moments and when they are in action...

    At night, before bed, I just meditate on nothing, total mindfulness

    Quote Originally Posted by pureevil View Post
    What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. Its very easy to go down long thoughtful quiet mental paths where you're exploring an idea. . . but to actively try to stop thought from happening entirely is a very unique experience. Different thought processes keep firing at you from different directions, and in the process of shutting down one three more fire off. You think your mind is finally quiet for like 2 seconds then you realize you're thinking about how your mind is finally quiet and the dam breaks loose and the brain starts firing off again.
    I believe it's better not to block your thoughts, but let them flow naturally, come in then fade away quickly. It feels like you are watching a movie, you see your thoughts, but you don't decide anything nor try to feel or control your emotions, just watch them come and go calmly, indifferently... Read it somewhere and I like this method very much, but have no link.

  7. #7
    Member Impulse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pureevil View Post

    I find taking 10 or so minutes after doing TRE exercises, to try to actively NOT think at all, is a very natural slot for meditation. The body is already in a fully relaxed state, so you can very easily become mindful with little physical/external distraction.

    What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. Its very easy to go down long thoughtful quiet mental paths where you're exploring an idea. . . but to actively try to stop thought from happening entirely is a very unique experience. Different thought processes keep firing at you from different directions, and in the process of shutting down one three more fire off. You think your mind is finally quiet for like 2 seconds then you realize you're thinking about how your mind is finally quiet and the dam breaks loose and the brain starts firing off again.
    Yeh the type of "no thought" meditation in mental silence kinda scares me a little. The way im doing it is just adding it into my Wim Hof breathing exercises

    So I take deep breaths, but I concentrate on my breaths solely (without my mind wandering), so im in a mental silence, but ive got an external "thing im doing" to keep my focus on point..I much prefer it that way, but each to their own I guess

    Quote Originally Posted by davidk
    Couple of years ago I did take a month long class, where we'd meditate for up to 45 min at a time - that was brutal! It did help with the "being grounded" but it was not fun, not something I would look for in the day. After 45 min in terms of "relaxedness" is like smoking a big joint, everything feels like it's moving in slow motion.
    Dang! 45 mins sounds brutal!! Im like 10 mins max lol

    That's interesting it feels like things are slowing down ie slow motion. This is something I feel i need more of...just calming my vibe instead of being in an over-active "do things quickly and efficiently" kinda space

    Quote Originally Posted by sofast
    In the morning, before work, I meditate on my life mission, imagine the scene, feeling, emotion when I achieve it.
    That's interesting, I tend to find if I meditate in the morning I kinda get sleepy and/or fall asleep, but I know everyone is different

    10-15 mins seems to be a really good sweet spot for this stuff though, its time efficient for busy people

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Impulse View Post
    10-15 mins seems to be a really good sweet spot for this stuff though, its time efficient for busy people
    "You should meditate for 20 minutes a day unless you're too busy. Then you should meditate for one hour"

    A paraphrased quote I once read which has some truth to it :-) but I think if someone starts with meditation it should not be more than 10-15 mins each session.
    "There is a fundamental difference between men and women. To ignore it means to suffer, to experience it means to love. To understand it means seduction."

  9. #9
    Member pureevil's Avatar
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    I've made some breakthroughs since I posted. I'm new to "no thought" meditation so I imagine these earlier breakthroughs come rather quickly as the early ones usually do. The thought patterns have become less haphazard and thus feel like less of an assault, I can at this point identify three clear thought patterns that are regularly firing off outside of my conscious control, along with some others that still seem more haphazard at this time. Good stuff, useful to me.

    So that's where I'm at. We'll see where it leads next. I'm not using any books or references or guides, I don't want anything coloring my experience all that much.

  10. #10
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    copy / paste from another thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CrassMoFuggah View Post
    ..just finished a 10 day vipassana meditation [edit: its about 90 hours of meditation in 10 days]. powerful stuff.
    ...
    sit and focus your mind on one thing. your breath, an image, a mantra. the mind drifts off, bring it back. keep doing that. you develop concentration, determination. practical tools. after a while you see a pattern of your own thoughts. "damn, my mind keeps drifting to this same damn subject. ive thought this already 8 times in the last 30 minutes!". you start to observe your relationship with discomfort. you start to see what your "quit patterns" are. you start to see how you judge thoughts. try to see the thoughts without reacting to them, without labeling good or bad. you will notice about yourself just how reactive you are. how you label things as good or bad. how you judge or shame or guilt yourself. you will see your relationship with anger and irritation and frustration. All this will come up in the mirror. You work on putting that aside, treat thoughts as "here they are, soon they will go". its a training in impermanence, which is an ultimate truth we lose sight of in our day to day life. you will calm down, stabilize your nervous system, you will train to be present, connected with the truth of the moment.
    ....
    about this :

    Quote Originally Posted by pureevil View Post
    ...I find taking 10 or so minutes after doing TRE exercises, to try to actively NOT think at all, is a very natural slot for meditation. The body is already in a fully relaxed state, so you can very easily become mindful with little physical/external distraction.

    What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. ...
    two points. first - good work on finding this time slot, something that naturally fits into your pre-existing system / routine. this is a good way to introduce new things and have them stick. as im sure you already know

    secondly. is it really true that you aim to get to a place of "no thought". and furthermore, is it really true that you actually get there ??

    perhaps my confusion is around language, but perhaps other people may also be confused, so I want to take a minute to elaborate. meditation is not about "spacing out", and its not about "going to sleep". on the contrary, meditation is about a highly engaged mind. furthermore, meditation is not about controlling your thoughts. instead it is about controlling your attention. thoughts will come, that is inevitable. over time and with practice they will be less intense, less haphazard. but they will still come. The key is to not judge them. they are not good or bad. they just are. and same with you: you are neither strong nor weak, good nor bad at meditating. you just are. observe "hey, im thinking about XYZ now. thats OK. ill re-direct my attention back to my breath".

    like I said in my above comment: there are many styles and methods - focusing on breath, on body sensation, on something visual, on a mantra, on someone elses voice during a guided session, etc. etc. Just like how you can use the food that you eat to regulate your energy, you can use different meditation styles for different things (developing concentration vs. developing compassion vs. calming down etc etc etc).

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