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  1. #111
    Member Tagz's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    Yeah, that helped. Thanks.

    I didn't say anything about it because I didn't want to get into a penis size conversation lol.

    I also didn't change the subject because I thought it was good to not care if we talked about her exes (outcome independence, IDGAF, not threatened, etc) so thanks for mentioning that. Won't be allowing that again.
    Not getting into size convo per say but if it helps put her mind on yours then that's fine haha
    Well it's fine not caring but just certain topics should be avoid.. ex,religion,politics and money are main ones for me. Avoid like the plague!

    btw, this is just for future reference because I think Skills is likely right. Win some lose some that's life man. You'll get better.

  2. #112
    Member SargeMaximus's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 1.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tagz View Post
    Not getting into size convo per say but if it helps put her mind on yours then that's fine haha
    Well it's fine not caring but just certain topics should be avoid.. ex,religion,politics and money are main ones for me. Avoid like the plague!

    btw, this is just for future reference because I think Skills is likely right. Win some lose some that's life man. You'll get better.
    Kk, thanks Tagz!

  3. #113
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    I think OP only needs to learn 1 thing.
    Escalating = mistake
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  4. #114
    Member SargeMaximus's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 1.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    I think OP only needs to learn 1 thing.
    Escalating = mistake
    Hey ijjjji! Thanks for stopping by! I definitely learned that lol. But... how do you ever get to sex without escalating?

  5. #115
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    This post has been ranked 7.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by skills
    1.- The first thing i notice and how i would have known as a dude with experience right of the back THAT THE LAY WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, again right of the meeting he, i would have known this, but skills how?

    a.- She came from JOGA, Sweaty AND STINKY AND DID NOT SHOWER.... Every girl that is going to get laid that is the first thing they do they shower, shave, put perfume, put the best outfit etc.....

    ^ so even if she is into you and HORNY AS FUCK, she would feel uncomfortable and stop you CAUSE SHE DOES NOT FEEL FRESH!....
    ^This

    As soon as I read your post Sarge I knew it wasnt happening until she took a shower

    -----

    Anyway good luck dude...IMHO you should be posting this in the rookie section, these are far too basic questions for this part of the forum and its really making me cringe

    FYI, multiple people have downvoted your posts, not just me. Skills give you good advice and then you asked something stupid ie "so how do I fix that?" - use your brain man!!! Ask better questions and you wont have issues..but asking skills how to fix that is you just nitpicking and being too logical about it

  6. #116
    Member SargeMaximus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Impulse View Post
    Ask better questions and you wont have issues..but asking skills how to fix that is you just nitpicking and being too logical about it
    EDIT: Nvm, I went back and edited that post. I think I see the misunderstanding.

    I wasn't asking skills what the solution to her needing a shower was LOL!

    I was asking what the solution to her seeing through me and my insecurities was, or even if there should be a solution. So it's been edited.

    As for the rookie forum, yeah you can move this there if you know how (mods anyone).

  7. #117
    Member Sase's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sase View Post
    Victor and Clara scene in Pedro Almodovar's, Live Flesh, movie. Watch it. Then let's talk options. Coming out is high risk but she already knows something is off...
    Quote Originally Posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    ...
    I don't have the movie but what options are you talking about? And what "coming out" are you talking about? And what do you mean "she knows something is off"?
    You can rent the movie at Amazon.
    The option somebody mentioned of you telling her that you are a virgin. If you want to do it you must do it in a way that minimizes the chances of spooking her. Discretion and non-clinginess are very important. You mention in the OP of wanting her as a FB and possibly upgrade to GF. Not going to happen. Forgetaboutit! The fact you even contemplate that will make her spook. In the movie there is a scene where Victor asks Clara to help him become the best lover in the world. It's a sweet scene if I remember well (I saw the movie long ago so it's blurry.) There is more to discuss but first you must decide if that's the course you want to follow.
    Coming out= about being a virgin.
    I can't explain what I mean by "she knows something's off" Too many tell tale signs. I see Skills is trying to help you, unfortunately it's not something you can learn on an internet forum. There is no substitute for experience. Trust me, she knows. But she doesn't know what is off. She might think you don't like her enough, or too much, or have some hidden agenda, or just that you are a bad lover... etc. The fact that you are inexperienced might be a relief for her or it might send her running for the hills.

  8. #118
    Member SargeMaximus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sase View Post
    You can rent the movie at Amazon.
    The option somebody mentioned of you telling her that you are a virgin. If you want to do it you must do it in a way that minimizes the chances of spooking her. Discretion and non-clinginess are very important. You mention in the OP of wanting her as a FB and possibly upgrade to GF. Not going to happen. Forgetaboutit! The fact you even contemplate that will make her spook. In the movie there is a scene where Victor asks Clara to help him become the best lover in the world. It's a sweet scene if I remember well (I saw the movie long ago so it's blurry.) There is more to discuss but first you must decide if that's the course you want to follow.
    Coming out= about being a virgin.
    Oh I see lol. (I'm dense AF) Ok well, I don't want to tell her I'm a virgin. If she figures it out, fine, I'll admit it but I don't want to make it a thing I use in my seduction.

    BUT, having said that, I wouldn't mind learning how to be a good lover from this woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sase View Post
    I can't explain what I mean by "she knows something's off" Too many tell tale signs. I see Skills is trying to help you, unfortunately it's not something you can learn on an internet forum. There is no substitute for experience. Trust me, she knows. But she doesn't know what is off. She might think you don't like her enough, or too much, or have some hidden agenda, or just that you are a bad lover... etc. The fact that you are inexperienced might be a relief for her or it might send her running for the hills.
    Hmm, this will most likely affect another woman too then, right?

    It's not so bad if "something is off" though, is it? I mean, if all I'm doing is moving things forward, not being too pushy, giving her space etc, what else is needed? I need to be experienced now? How do people lose their V if experience is something you need to have? lol

  9. #119
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    Hey ijjjji! Thanks for stopping by! I definitely learned that lol. But... how do you ever get to sex without escalating?
    By allowing the sexual tension to escalate.
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  10. #120
    Member Supernova's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 2 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    I think OP only needs to learn 1 thing.
    Escalating = mistake
    Good advice to someone well-versed in game, but this is useless to anyone just learning how to be in a bedroom with a girl.
    2.- I never advised this guy to text her that shit! he misunderstood, i said in the future used "plausible deniability"
    3.- I have multiple guys, that got directly laid from my text advice

    @Skills this is your fuck up. It was bad advice because it wasn't communicated as good as it could have been and as a more frequent poster who has helped "mulitiple of guys to get laid by your advice", it should be the case you give the man something he can actually use and apply. The responsibility of one's communication being received effectively is only within the person giving the message.
    Sorry if you got offended by the downvoting...I was actually laughing reading what you wrote man and thought you were an idiot..thats just being totally honest with you

    @Impulse The downvoting shit is bullshit on someone who is posting of his honest experience, what he did, and asking for how he could do it better. It's important we have downvoting so that we know when someone is giving bad advice. Clearly Sarge is not giving advice and it makes little sense to downvote anything that he is saying.
    Told me to not be so "gropey" (even though, when she said this, I was only going for kisses at that point, and had downgraded from the boob/leg stuff)

    The show we were watching had rape elements in it and I felt like escalating during that would be a bad thing to do lol. Kind of a turn off tbh. Even though it turned out that the girl wasn't raped, but I digress.

    She told me I needed to "relax" and "chill" I kinda scoffed at it, but I did anyhow.

    At some points, when I DID escelate even after her saying that, she was cold and got stiff (i.e. wouldn't turn to kiss me when I prompted her)

    Eventually, it was time for bed (she said) and we talked a bit before having a rather fiery make-out while standing up (we held each other and I pushed my leg into her crotch, she stopped within a second of that lol).

    We kissed a bit more, she was smiling, and she was the one prompting it. (she'd say "one more" *kiss* "ok, one more" *kiss*)

    And then I was out. She closed the door before I could finish my goodbye.

    So... I'm a bit confused, but overall it doesn't seem too good.

    She says group because you are acting like the guy who is persistent without being able to read her signals. It is okay, you are learning.

    When she tells you that you are doing a bad back massage, you DO NOT do it harder. You stop giving her a back massage, what you did here is rewarded bad behavior. Your mindset needs to be, even if the quality of the back massage isn't necessarily good, just because YOU are giving it, it is the best back massage she could hope for. It is a privilege if she gets a back massage from you, and the moment she doesn't understand that or does something negating it, you take that privilege away.

    Now likely it occurred that you were on the bed trying to kiss and escalate. She probably even recognized your inexperience. No big deal. You will keep getting better. When I was a virgin and couldn't escalate, my friend told me two things:

    1.) Two steps forward, one step backward- kiss her and then move away from her, go to the bathroom after a heavy kiss. She needs to be chasing your affection.

    2.) You need to tease to please- this includes seductive teases such as light kisses on the neck and you going down to her waist teasing and getting her turned on. Sounds like you have a lot to take in on this, but I can always provide more.

    Now what I would have done for this whole date:

    -I arrive and she tells me she is just back from yoga and is sweaty and shit

    -I say okay cool, shower and freshen up, we are going to get something quick to eat (also grab a netflix, gotta pick up a drink from the store, whatever is quick and will change environment.)

    You do this so that you get her to follow your lead. Done right and best case scenario, you leave grab a netflix (pick a dumb movie such as disney that you can talk over and she won't care if she misses.), then return to her house and escalate during the movie.

    This will take calibration man. I can't tell you how many girls I lost when I was a virgin and didn't know what to do in the bedroom. That part was the most heartbreaking, is that I would put all the work in and I couldn't get past LMR. Or something would happen and I just wouldn't get the lay. It fucking sucked. Now I can't remember the last time I haven't gotten past LMR.

    Now for the next chance you will have with this girl, I don't think there will be one. Likely she is going to remember the time you came over and she didn't have sex with you. This is just going to reaffirm her behavior of not having sex with you. I do not believe she was on her period as some of the other guys say as she would have just said it and she wouldn't have had to deal with you being 'gropey'. But if there is the case that she texts and she is open to hang out, then all means do it.

    I tell you this because you need to follow the advise her and you need to get your ass out to social events. Whether this is meetup or nightclubs (highly recommend for social skills) or whatever. You will need a lot of practice and you will need it fast. I did nightclubs when I first learned. I didn't like it and i can't stand them even more now (i rarely go to them now), but they will help you learn social skills quick.
    -Supernova

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