Ok, so this is a little bit about money but also really relevant to seduction
Polarisation has been discussed here by 360 in the vein of it meaning "not everyone will like you, so just go for it"
You will turn some people away from you but turn others to you. But here I won't talk about that, I will talk about another meaning of polarisation, as it regards tto how our desires become highly polarised when faced with cognitive dissonance.
Now many of you might know this already by intuition, but when cognitive dissonance is present in a person their desires reach for the extremes, in essence they polarise.
The grey area, the area between each extreme/pole, essentially becomes seen as undesireable because of the dissonance the person assosciates with the uncertainty entailed with no gaurantee or certainty placed upon the outcome.
In seduction, this tends to work against you. If a womans desires are highly polarised, drama is much more present. Average girls will want commitment, vain girls will want some guy with money (though not give a rats ass about the guy), sexual girls will want whatever dude seems shiniest at that very moment and flake a lot. So personally I try to reduce polarisation of desires in women, rather than chase it, because what are you going to do? Change your look each day to always be the best in the room, always be the richest, always the most committed? That is a paradox, cuz you can't do all those things at once. So by creating an APPRECIATION inn women for shades of grey, tolerance for the dissonance of uncertainty, and strength in their integrity, their desires become less polarised and dramatic stress decreases.
Well, sort of...
All people still have stresses. But maintenance of those stresses is more manageable when you help a womans desires reduce in polarisation.
How to do that comes down to not creating a competing dynamic, drawing her out of the "screw men they are dumb" sphere, and into something more tolerable.
That softens the dynamic a bit, and reduces polarisation of her desires. You can also do it by using good efas, and setting good examples, and feeling like a decent guy to her.
Notice I didn't say "good" or "nice", I said decent. Decency isn't a measure of what you do it is a measure of WHEN you do it, if you do thinngs when it is percieved as hard, or when it matters, that is decency, if you do something because it is ideal or just because you think it is nice, that is "nice". It is a subtle but very important difference. Niceness instigates competition, "who is nicest deserves the most", which girls dislike as it becomes quickly a game of possession and guilt "I did all this for you and now you treat me shit!". Decency is the opposite, you might not be nice a lot, but when you are faced with a moment where you are going to get on a high horse, you smile and let it breathe help her destress a bit and not act out, and it reduces the competition, and steadies out the polarisation of her desires.
Now, why post this in lifestyle
It is cuz I want to actually talk about money
Something that is an important topic to me, probably only because I like seduction so much.
I wanted to understand money properly because, in a weird way it is part of seduction, via lifestyle.
You get sick of living in certain apartments and such, you wanna get a nice home to go back to and such, but you don't want to sully your life with too much drama, and with money, DRAMA is everywhere. Some person overspent their budget for the month or year and they start freaking out, make drama, doesn't matter who for so long as they get their money right? So weird shit happens. As a seducer I'm like get the fuck out of my space, ha, doesn't always work out so great. So inn order to be entirely congruent in my lifestyle, cash was a thing, and I've studied it for 7 years now?
My progress was slow cuz the dissonance is really fucking high, because my motivation for money was VERY GREY
Its like "oh I wanna avoid drama and be congruent and understand it", and that isn't a motivation to go out there, get it and have it solved.
In situations where DESIRES are polarised, such as with most people with money, their interests become EXTREME, their dependencies become dramatic, their ability to adjust becomes rigid, and thusly their need to threaten or influence others, even by cheating becomes INTENSE. It becomes, you guessed it, competitive.
This competitive mindset has had an impact on society for a long time, especially regarding territory and sexual repression.
It is a very threatening and vile beast, some might even say the natural enemy of seduction.
Or maybe I'm being dramatic?
Either way, it takes me a while to fully translate concepts of seduction into business, but lately I discovered a good one and I'm going to share it now.
The desire for money that you have is likely polarised.
Fear of your future
Not feeling like you will belong
Needing proof, or exileration
The ability to subdue threats
Catharsis of consumerism (inn order to prove you don't need certain things to yourself)
How do you address this?
I propose a radical theory
Aim for the middle
Not the top
Michalangelo said "the tragedy of life is not striving too high and not reaching it, but aiming too low and succeeding"
Which may seem to counter my point here, but the devil is in the details.
I am saying, that if your desires for money are a result of highly polar desires, your mind will flit and flutter and change course,it will never truly find its center.
You'll get money and it'll feel weird, so you'll lose it. Or out of fear you'll stash it away and create "awkward money", the kind of money that has no real use and can get cumbersome. Most entrepreneurs either lose their big success winnings or they create a very awkward relationship with cash.
The reason I say aim for the middle is just saying, it is okay to rid yourself of highly polarised desires.
If you make it to the middle, you will have "fuck you" money, enough money to say fuck you and gracefully exit dramatic situations.
Now, in order to fully understand this, you MUST understand that this is a mindset that can go VERY WRONG as well as very right.
The very wrong path is that when you get fuck you money you close off. You get bitter. You proclaim to the world, fuck off I know it all.
The very right path is, when you get fuck off money, you open up. You get generous. You look at the world and ask, "how can I do more?".
This is a subtle but important difference that you could search the whole internet for and never find explained.
It is the difference between a man who is NICE and creates competition, and a man who is decent and reduces it.
Ha, I remember this homeless dude I used to help out a bunch. He was a chill dude, not some freak. Just hated people, drama, the whole fucked up dilemma of it all.
I could relate, so I'd give change, I'd give him food as I walked past from shopping etc. He was a pretty grateful guy too.
My point is this...
Create less stress through your desires, not more.
Subdue polarisations, and create smoothness.
Reduce the task of being NICE all the damn time and give people the break they are due when they are DECENT.
In seduction, I never require women be NICE to me.
Sometimes they do it all by themselves, thinking I want it that way, and maybe they never catch the hint that I don't want that...
But what I really watch for is if they are DECENT when it matters.
I cut them slack to be human and not nice the rest of the time.
Cuz its smooth man, it is SMOOTH.
And it is also real. Not some bullshit qualifiier pulld out of nowhere :P
Okay, so now to my point
Do you want a lot of money?
A lot of freedom?
Feel a shitty grindiing entitlement in your gut without it?
Look at the polarisation of your desires and how they are making you compete for other peoples forced niceness
STOP TRYING TO BUY NICE
Instead, learn the power of WHEN something is decent instead.
For a few years my money/drama situation has been fine
What I lacked was the soul of it
The true understanding
And it fucked with me not knowing
But then I was generous and decent
And it let the rough edges and a lot of the shit wash away
Now, as I see money infront of me, I do not run, with extreme desire in my eyes
I walk, enter smoothly, with grace in my stride
This is the ULTIMATE difference I was searching for
The soul of satisfaction
The real measure of your success
A rich man in his castle is trapped by the torment of all he does not have
A satisfied motherfucker... in that very same castle finds fulfilment in its peaceful halls
Being given space can be equally as much a problem as a problem solver
Make sure that inside your four walls you arent haunted by the isolation but that it fuels you like fresh air
If you are bitter, your desires polarised, your money is awkward...
You are not wealthy imo... you are marking time until you die just as much as the next guy
If you are generous, your desires move within areas of grey, you are decent not competing for niceness, then presumably you know how to use that isolation to create your best work and can forever grow.
And that GROWTH can be your true liberation.
It might have taken me 7 years to understand this, but now that I know it, I feel contentment.
Money, is a drama inducing thing... it will dice you up if you let it.
It will cut off your balls, and betaize you just as effective as any mediocre marriage might.
I offer you this piece of advice.
Seek the dissonant middle.
Its terrible, and it sucks...
But the point isn't to sit there and take an ass beating till the end of time.
The point is to stop chasing what is paradoxical
And instead do what is actually attainable and satisfying (thrill of the hunt vs pleasure of sex anyone?)
In seduction I REDUCE womens need to have polarised desires, it lessens drama
If you want less financial drama, depolarise
No don't mute your desires like a monk, don't become apathetic and woe is me and think it is all pointless
Just learn that you need to weild the silent vacuum that follows money
You need to stand in that emptiness and feel alive
Money isn't valuable because of what it buys you,
Its valuable because of what it can't
You can't chase down clarity
You can't stash it away
You have to embody it
And to embody it, you have to depolarise your desires so you can operate with complexity
And by depolarising, learn how to utilise decency, not perfection and utter acceptance/validation
And by utilising decency, turn fuck you money, into generousity and growth
And from the silence that follows money and its isolation, find clarity and openess
Not hate ...
You know what I mean?
Maybe not, or maybe you do, just thought I'd say it anyway.
Lol, so, well if I say that dudes can spare me the psychobabble entrepreneur talk
What I really think/feel is that people are too driven by polarities in their desire to GET they are betaized and chasing everything they despise
It takes a whole other gear to do the full measure
To understand the reality
And overcome the illusions of dissonance and frustration