Hey guys. I'd greatly appreciate your input and ideas on two specific questions relating to clitoral and vaginal orgasms, as per the title of the topic.

First question

I've been seeing my current GF for about three months by now. We get together 1-2 times per week, which always includes sex. In the beginning, fingering her clit led her to orgasm really easily. And I mean REALLY easily - within two-three minutes even. Therefore, I had been relying on it rather heavily - by fingering her to orgasm two-three times per meet-up. More so, because I have not been able to get her to orgasm vaginally so far (more on that in the second question below) and because I sometimes have PE issues which makes the length/quality of "classical" sex inconsistent (e.g. from 2 minutes one time to a solid 30 minutes the other time). Hence, my mind was in any case at ease, knowing that I can always leave her satisfied by fingering her to orgasm several times per night.

However, at one point I started to notice that fingering her to clitoral orgasm gradually takes more and more time - as if she was getting desensitized to it as time went on. And by now, it has gotten to the point where she's not able to reach orgasm that way anymore. I can see and hear her getting very excited but then it just kinda fades away (this is how she describes it herself as well) - and this pattern repeats itself many times until either of us gets tired and/or its obvious it doesn't lead anywhere. I also try to vary the pressure, angle and tempo but without result. She also feels bad about it herself, so its possible the issue is additionally amplified by her putting pressure on herself / worrying about it. So far I have been able to nevertheless get her to orgasm via oral, however, I'm somewhat worried that the same process will start to affect this as well.

I'm hoping you can give me some good advice here - is there something I can do to counter / avoid this "desensitization" process? Overall, sex is still very good with her and I also haven't noticed any decline in her attraction towards me (quite the contrary even).

Second question

I've also tried to get her to orgasm vaginally by massaging the smoother part inside her vagina (the deep spot, to my knowledge) right after the more textured part which is more in the front (the g-spot, I assume), as far as my fingers reach. I'm using the "come hither" motion with my middle finger and fourth finger or middle finger only, by applying pressure upwards on said spot. It definitely works well, as it always gets her moaning and breathing very heavily (I can also hear the "squishing" sound from inside her vagina), and she says it feels amazingly good, however I don't think she has orgasmed that way yet. She has also said several times that she was very close.

Also, when I can see her excitement level ramping up, I tend to increase the pressure & tempo of the motion as well. However, as the spot is already as far as my fingers go in, this tends to tire my hand and arm very quickly. Maybe this has also something to do with my position - usually I'm leaned over to her so I could kiss her / suck her tongue as well. I have tried switching hands, of course, but in the end (e.g. after 15-20 minutes) my hands still tire to the point that I have to abandon the mission.

She hasn't had a vaginal orgasm before and in the beginning, g-spot/deep spot massage didn't have a noticable effect on her - so the trend in this respect has in any case been positive.

In short - I can get her to feel really good and obviously very close to orgasm with this method, however I'd really appreciate your tips on how to finally tip her "over the edge".


Many thanks for your advice already in advance!