This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.
I can relate with PE. I will directly answer the question you asked with specific advice, but first I want to say a few things to lay the groundwork. Mind you - what I am about to say may or may not be applicable to YOU. It is general info and I dont want it to be mistaken that I read into something you have said. so dont take any of it personally
Originally Posted by Da hype
OK. Sometimes there are certain medical conditions, and thats it own thing, but for most cases of PE the underlying need is to calm down. Men with big Egos and healthy Prides can come up with all sorts of strategies to work around the PE issue. Some learn to use their fingers and tongue. Others learn the arts of emotional manipulation. Etc. Sometimes these workarounds can be highly developed and even extremely effective in the short term. but the underlying problem of being jittery is unresolved. It becomes a matter of time before a woman catches on that something is wrong. She will not be able to vocalize it, it probably wont even be in her conscious train of thought. She will simply feel that something is not right. Take for example the "solution" of being really good with your hands. For 5 times its great, she gets off and its wonderful. After 10 times its still pretty good, but she has already "been there & done that" and is less tranced out. She already knows whats coming, and at this point she may feel pressure to perform, to avoid hurting your ego. By the 15th time you are intimate she is like "wtf is this weird enthusiasm with his hands ... I just want to get fucked ... maybe he has a fetish ... whatever ... hey lets see what CrassMoFuggah is doing tonight "
In order to keep women interested, to be the best lover possible, you have to actualize the potential of your mind and body. and then you have to constantly be switching it up. you must be able to have different gears, a healthy transmission, to be a constant enigma, she doesnt know if she is dealing with Don Juan or 50 Cent (on a minute to minute basis..). This is the place of magic. You are familiar with PE, familiar with "being in your head". understand that she is also in her own head with her own stories. Understand her head is its own Pandoras box. However when you achieve this ability to have different rhythms, when you get to this place of moving fluidly, she feels safe, trusts you, she comes out of her head and lets go into submission. Now you play..
So in short: "how to avoid desensitizing her clit" is the wrong question. if she is your partner, work together. if she is not your partner, use her for practice. fuck her for 2 minutes, when you are about to cum pull out and give her a message for 30 minutes. then fuck her again for 2 minutes. then go down on her for 15 minutes. get her edging, then pull away. eventually, over 2-3 hours of this, at some point you will hit your stride and fuck for 30 minutes. string together 7 of these 2-3 hour sessions and she will think you are a thougthful lover, and you will tighten your game..
But - to answer the question head on - avoid direct clitoral stimulation. play around her clit. dont forget her inner thighs. her clit is like a wishbone, only the tip is protruding and visible. most of the muscles of her clit are "inside" her inner thighs...
Firstly - understand that most women do not orgasm vaginally. Not that they cant, they just havent. and so thats "normal" and "common".
And, im going to take a guess that - based on the earlier descriptions - this is not going to happen for you right now. hangman said it once that women who cannot cum are a lot of work. its loads easier to find one thats already "fixed". BUT - if you have decided to work with a woman, then one ingredient is her "letting go". And based on what I described earlier, there already may be tension in the air, she is in her head and already feeling a lot of performance anxiety, pressure to perform, etc. thats why I say that it wont happen (right now). You describe a lot of technical stuff, but its not a case of technique (besides, it sounds like you know more than enough, generally speaking you do those things and see what elicits positive responses. And you ask, seductively..).
so, good on you for trying many things, switching it up, trying to learn, to grow, to connect, all that jazz. but my overall suggestion here is to be less results oriented. "make sure a woman cums every time" is not always possible. JWS said it once - within the context of seduction - "dont startle the pussy". I think its an appropriate sentiment within intimacy too..