Close
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 37

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Scandinavia
    Posts
    3,551


    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 3 votes.

    Are 'vibes' actionable/doable/practical?

    -Im drawing a small map of the various vibes regarded as attractive by our community.
    -And I had to really stop and think, when running into the cloud/cluster containing swagger, cool, chilled, confident, etc...
    -As Ive said ad infinum, telling yourself to feel a certain thing, is very fragile (backfire)..
    -So are we setting a trap for ourselves, by focusing on vibes?
    -Are they not much better than affirmations in this regard?
    -Or are they real actions, that you can immerse ('flow') yourself in without such 'fragility'?

    Ive seen that some show a resistance to the vibe concept, and Im suspecting that their dislike must come from a suspicion along these lines.
    And quite frankly, Im not 100% free from this worry myself. At least something to keep in mind if we proceed with this somewhat new-age'y methodology...

    (Im leaning towards putting '.Theory' style posts in off-topic from now on. I miss .Theory, but I also dislike having a lot of forums. Makes each one too thinly populated, I guess..
    Do you think its a good idea, or should KJ'y topics about PU go in general now?)
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  2. #2
    Member bazoom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Western Europe
    Age
    25
    Posts
    641



    I'd say it depends on whether there are observable characteristics that is universal for a vibe (or almost):
    E.g. "most people with x vibe move their arms in y way"; "most people with x vibe have y gaze"

    How descriptive could you point out behaviors. Think of pace, direction, versatility (maybe one vibe has more dynamics)

    Like you could describe a certain gaze to not move a lot, if it moves it's slow, eyelids loose
    Or walking more slowly yet towards a destination, eyes are ahead quite looking into nothing but the general direction
    Most of the time having the eyelids drop and lips quite loose but then tense a bit around lips (as in trying to surpress laughter) while the head is cocked a bit away from someone yet you maintain eye contact (playful smirk)

    Do you think such descriptions will help people at least to illustrate? Of course movie fragments and such help

    Nothing to do with this topic, but I think the general board is too full of whiney, complaint, random, mental masturbation topics. In general, the general board should be a bit less general and more focused on real actionable seduction stuff.

  3. #3
    Member Kit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Western-Europe
    Age
    22
    Posts
    694


    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    I think vibes are what we work with in our daily lifes, mainly when we meet people in order to set a main "basic" framework for the convo. (e.g. judging whether we want to engage with the other, good vibes signal fun, bad vibes less fun, and make us depend on what we know)

    However for longer lasting relationships there is more than just vibe and tension and I think that's what you mean.

    Therefor I think for a one nightstand focusing on vibe makes sense, but when you look for something longer, without making someone go pairbonding(irrealistic thing where the image is mainly vibebased I think) you would need more yes?

    (current thoughts, everchangeable & depending on my mood)

  4. #4
    Member Qlue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    World traveler
    Posts
    3,568


    This post has been ranked 1.33 out of 10 with 3 votes.

    I think being self-aware of your vibe only results in anxiety.
    The Qlue, simple perspectives on life.

  5. #5
    Member Kit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Western-Europe
    Age
    22
    Posts
    694


    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 2 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlue View Post
    I think being self-aware of your vibe only results in anxiety.
    I dare to disagree lol

    You can be selfaware of your vibe and work with it..

    edit: think awareness of your vibe and/or emotions and using them/understanding them+understanding the effect of them on yourself and your surroundings is something people consider part of EQ/emotional intelligence
    Last edited by Kit; 01-04-2017 at 06:42 PM.

  6. #6
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Scandinavia
    Posts
    3,551



    Kit!! You are quite skilled at 'riding' your own vibes, right? (Impression I got from your posts before. + you are female, right?)
    Would you say there is a difference in how ride-able different vibes are? Say we were comparing:
    -a sexual vibe
    -a vibe of happiness (or sadness)
    -a vibe of self-content
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  7. #7
    Member COCPORN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Oslo, Norway
    Posts
    171



    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    -Im drawing a small map of the various vibes regarded as attractive by our community.
    -And I had to really stop and think, when running into the cloud/cluster containing swagger, cool, chilled, confident, etc...
    -As Ive said ad infinum, telling yourself to feel a certain thing, is very fragile (backfire)..
    -So are we setting a trap for ourselves, by focusing on vibes?
    -Are they not much better than affirmations in this regard?
    -Or are they real actions, that you can immerse ('flow') yourself in without such 'fragility'?

    Ive seen that some show a resistance to the vibe concept, and Im suspecting that their dislike must come from a suspicion along these lines.
    And quite frankly, Im not 100% free from this worry myself. At least something to keep in mind if we proceed with this somewhat new-age'y methodology...

    (Im leaning towards putting '.Theory' style posts in off-topic from now on. I miss .Theory, but I also dislike having a lot of forums. Makes each one too thinly populated, I guess..
    Do you think its a good idea, or should KJ'y topics about PU go in general now?)
    I have never been able to "do" something that I don't "am".

    The huge failure of the pickup community is to "act", "see what I accomplish" and then "reduce to what I do into knowledge". When the reason for the accomplishment is not related to the action ("act"), but more often related to who does it. Which means that the "knowledge" gathered is more local than global.

    There is a very simple way to test this. Create a fake Tinder profile using my picture (or any supermodel, really), match with the same girl and say the same things.

    If you haven't done this, you might be absolutely floored by the difference in response. A match on Tinder isn't a match on Tinder.

    The idea of "faking it" is closer to this than you might think. You might be able to fake an emotion for a night. Or two. But it will decidedly burn you out. Your emotions are your compass, your ability to share them here is just a tiny and beautiful fragment of it.

    I would say that I am personally "confident" at this point. That's not to say that I'm "never nervous" or "emotionally over invest"; I certainly am and certainly do. But it happens seldom and the occurrences are few and far between. It comes from a single thing you cannot teach, and it is experience.

    Experience is something that cannot be taught. You can fake it and the benefits it gives with women who like experienced guys, but you cannot really have it without earning it.

    When you run into the cloud/cluster containing those descriptions, you are really running into the part of the community that doesn't understand that experience transfers really slowly in this medium. You need to do it. You need to let it consolidate.

    So anytime you get into a discussion that tells you "You just need to be confident" or "Just stay cool", you immediately know that the person writing has no actual teaching experience. People aren't confident (without experience) and people don't stay cool (without experience). BTW, I don't consider bootcamps teaching experience.

    You are setting a trap for yourself by focusing on vibes. It is like Michael Bay waking up one morning and focusing on food. Or an African street child (is that where they're poor now?) doing the same.

    Most pickup concepts might be true "from the top down". We used to refer to this as the "winner's perspective". It is easy to tell someone to "just be cool, man", when you are cool. It is really hard to have an emotional turmoil and cool down because you're told to.

    The winner's perspective is infectious, because all winners see it the same way, at the same time not attributing their success to the real hero: Experience.

    The authorities around you will tell you to "cool down" and "just do it". Because they've done it, so, so many times. And you feel like a newborn in this beautiful world. It might be poetic, but hearing what people that are better than you say is often useless. Because you don't have the same experience(s). And you're not them.

    Any concept that is going to carry with you or your peers needs to come from the bottom up. You need to feel it before you do it and know it. You need to know it before you can relay it. You need the people you relay it to to feel it before they can put it to use.

    Feeling for these issues comes through experience. I would say there are a bunch of techniques and a heap of technology (again, TRE, Doyletics, tired of repeating) that allow you to get the experience less painfully and sooner. But, you cannot really understand social interactions without the experience.

    Do the drills.
    Get the experience.
    Your deserved success.
    Talk down to noobs.
    Very softly.
    Repeat.

    Because chances are the drills really save us all, at some point or another. So you need to relay the drills. Make it your heritage.

  8. #8
    Member Kit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Western-Europe
    Age
    22
    Posts
    694



    Quote Originally Posted by COCPORN View Post
    There is a very simple way to test this. Create a fake Tinder profile using my picture (or any supermodel, really), match with the same girl and say the same things.
    .
    I want to try this!

  9. #9
    Member ijjjji's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Scandinavia
    Posts
    3,551


    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Stargazer,
    -yeah but what exactly is a 'feeling'.. and how does that differ from 'impression' etc.. (also note, when term was initially picked, it was only in urban dictionary, with a variety of descriptions..)
    -yeah actors can DO it for sure. But how doable is it for normal people who only read a description? And how will they get it 'right' for the sake of PU?

    Cosy,
    -nice! so rather than 'blank', it should be more like 'open (to influence)'..
    -ah I agree - sticky resentments is stopping many. Ive even seen very physically attractive guys hitting this wall, completely preventing girls from being drawn to them.
    -I like the notion of not 'pushing' your vibes on others. It is the 'mutual growth' phenomenon, that creates the 'magic'..

    CP,
    -why tinder as example (the one place where vibes dont matter)
    -Vibing to cover up resentments etc, will certainly burn you out over time!
    -Good point regarding 'teaching confidence' being nonsense. Lets make sure we dont go that route with vibes.
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

  10. #10
    Member thecostofsuccess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Travel
    Age
    48
    Posts
    1,990


    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    -nice! so rather than 'blank', it should be more like 'open (to influence)'..
    Well... "open to influence" is a hornets nest, ripe for the worst kind of misinterpretation
    Cuz people think "I feel shit, and you are telling me to open up?"
    That would lead to total confusion

    Which leads back to my first post where I said, you can over think this and get in the weeds
    I personally don't want guys over thinking vibes, or tension, or sensuality. cuz there are a million ways to get it wrong
    "oh I act all schmoozy" "oh I act sharp and rigidly hold" "oh I ignore her frame"

    And to all that I say the same thing, don't use a term if it doesn't work for you
    Don't force stupid shit


    Back in the day people used to bow to mystery
    DON'T BOW

    Its human nature to want others to give you the golden ticket to willy wonkers chocolate factory
    But its not going to happen like that
    The sooner you get that out of a guys head, the better

    Show him HE is responsible, that there is no "pua protective veil"
    Let him be scared



    I remember physically shaking, getting all pastey white, paralysed and wanting to vomit
    They don't need to feel wrong for being on the cusp of that same place
    They need to be SOBER like I was when daring to go into the breach

    That authentic, ass on the line, omg I'm gonna die, was WHY I did seduction in the first place
    Cuz I was a warrior, ready to put my ASS on the line, to freak out, get scared and doubt myself to the point I wanted to crawl up into a lil ball
    Thats the risk you take, thats why I give a man his due respect for his balls,
    Thats why I laugh with a guys pain,

    Cuz we are all in the trenches, and SO ARE GIRLS (but I only learnt how much later)


    So I start with respect, cuz, if you can't do that, how are you going to then be authentic and in the moment with anyone?
    And vibing is like that, plus, throwing it off and having a laugh

    Its not craaaaaazy complex, and eeeeveryone vibes to some degree, so you just slooooow down, not get all panicky, and you make a start on it
    I mean thats how I started
    Why tell guys to do it any different than what go me there

    Sure we might not always SHARE that side of it, but its there, and these guys here are clever than anyone gives em credit, they know its there, its just up to them to find it within themselves to accept that, and let go of lingering bitterness and confusion, as and when it feels right

    But thats the hard part
    When do you risk it?


    I dunno, hard to say
    The windows we get to do so are often small, confusing and close up quickly, so I say, have your wits about you, be spry footed, and do it low key, then maaaaaybe you pull it off
    And if you do, daaaayum
    Enjoy :P

    Its all part of it
    If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be so important to get it right

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •