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Thread: Realizations

  1. #1
    Member Tagz's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 9.20 out of 10 with 5 votes.

    Realizations

    Not sure what my intent is with this post. Feel like I'm beating a dead horse but let me know y'all thoughts.

    Thinking back on my recent adventures, some type of thought process triggered. I delved deeper into how it was that I personally connected with girls. I remember growing up being surrounded by my mother and other females most of my life. You may be asking "where was the father?" He was there but not in the sense of teaching me such things like getting with girls but I did learn good values from both my parents. Anyway, the one thing I never understood in my virgin teen years was why couldn't I get laid? Plenty of guys I knew at parties or outside would pick up girls and make it look easy. I now believe it was because I didn't have enough masculine energy and that I possessed more feminine energy. Masculine being more outgoing,dominating,not afraid of rejection, big presence, etc. I didn't have these things at the time. No, I was the quiet guy who thought more about how the world ticked. I was reserved, self conscious, cared more about making other people happy than myself.

    Now, from my experience I was always able to connect with females using feminine energy but I never understood how to transition to sexual energy. Girls would open up and talk to me all day because I was more a listener than a talker and somehow some of them were attracted to me but one move from me and poof! they were gone. I didn't know how to flirt or be c/f or how to escalate..anything! The only thing I did sort of have was intuition, being able to 'feel out' girls signals, which I guess was picked up from my time spent around females. The missing piece to me getting laid was masculine/sexual energy which I didn't discover until I was about 23 here on these forums. It was like a whole new world opened up before my very eyes! At the time I didn't understand most of what PU was but I read so much material and decided to test it out. My 19yo gf at the time who I met thru work was the first I've shared everything with except penetration but that time wasn't what solidified PU worked for me. I wrote a report on here with a girl I managed to have sex with for the first time using the techs I read. It wasn't smooth but it was at that moment it clicked..all I had to learn to do was be sexual and not be ashamed about what I wanted. I'm still learning but now I can have sex with a girl. My next step in my journey is figuring out how to get it consistently,not just month here and there.

    I guess thru all this rambling the points that I'm trying to make are:
    -Balance masculine/feminine/sexual energy (If you're lacking in one improve that area)
    -Don't be ashamed for wanting sex

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    Member Circulator's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 8.20 out of 10 with 5 votes.

    I agree with your point about externalizing sexual energy. But you have to be careful with any line of thinking that says you have to be a certain way to get laid. It's not so much that you have to be more masculine. It's that you have to actually put yourself out there and make something happen. How you do that is irrelevant. Women are attracted to all different flavors of men.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Circulator View Post
    I agree with your point about externalizing sexual energy. But you have to be careful with any line of thinking that says you have to be a certain way to get laid. It's not so much that you have to be more masculine. It's that you have to actually put yourself out there and make something happen. How you do that is irrelevant. Women are attracted to all different flavors of men.
    Hey Circulator, you're right that people don't or shouldn't have to be or act a certain way. I guess I'm merely getting at just learning how to bring that side out. Learning to be assertive,commanding attention among other things..some women find these traits attractive. For me, discovering how to do these things wowed me and at the same time I felt empowered, but scared because it was uncharted territory. Women do love different types of guys and if said guy has more sides to him then even more so, no? I could be wrong. Not saying don't be yourself..you should by all means. Hope I'm making sense haha

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    Member ijjjji's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    So you are saying.. if girls dont hate you to begin with, pretty much keep it up, except stop hiding horniness.
    Not bad
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

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    This post has been ranked 1.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by ijjjji View Post
    So you are saying.. if girls dont hate you to begin with, pretty much keep it up, except stop hiding horniness.
    Not bad
    Hey ijjjji, geez you simplify things so easily haha
    Also, I found out recently that women are unforgiving when you mess up interactions. I had did too much c/f and she shut me down lol I could've salvaged it but I stayed silent. Many more lessons to come for sure.

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    This post has been ranked 1.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tagz View Post
    Hey ijjjji, geez you simplify things so easily haha
    Also, I found out recently that women are unforgiving when you mess up interactions.
    I'm learning this too. It's a miracle (to me) anyone ever gets laid.

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    Member cactus eyes's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    It's a form of a defense mechanism.

    The reason for it is to dispel essentially, "unworthy" (in her eyes) Men that either:

    1. Take it for what it is and walk away.
    2. Are actually really annoying the girl and SHE sees that he won't be able to bring the conversation/vibe/feel to where she wants it to go actually.
    3. Is shit testing you to see where your balls break.

    A good form around the whole, "unforgiving when you mess up interactions" is to be very receptive to what she is trying to tell you.

    Much of what you and tagz are talking about coincides with a lot Costofsuccess and ijiis ideas, the nuanced reactions you and her look for and work towards together are the building blocks of connecting without speaking, connecting better when speaking, and then connecting physically.

    That's the flow, and the ability to lead her through those uncomfortable zones where your bodies are pulsating and your palms are sweaty and you can hear your heart in your throat suawking what you might feel is random nonsense.

    When you learn to talk to women and tailor the reaction around her in a way that she doesn't know you're doing it, you are getting better. To make it smoothe natural and effortless seems the best, although I think too smoothe attempting while doing it clumsily is not so good.

    You have to be able to bring her to these points, release them comfortably, and then bring her back to it again while showing her it is not much of an issue and you are still actually listening and responding to her.

    If that helps.
    In Ictu Oculi

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    Member SargeMaximus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cactus eyes View Post
    It's a form of a defense mechanism.

    The reason for it is to dispel essentially, "unworthy" (in her eyes) Men that either:

    1. Take it for what it is and walk away.
    2. Are actually really annoying the girl and SHE sees that he won't be able to bring the conversation/vibe/feel to where she wants it to go actually.
    3. Is shit testing you to see where your balls break.

    A good form around the whole, "unforgiving when you mess up interactions" is to be very receptive to what she is trying to tell you.

    Much of what you and tagz are talking about coincides with a lot Costofsuccess and ijiis ideas, the nuanced reactions you and her look for and work towards together are the building blocks of connecting without speaking, connecting better when speaking, and then connecting physically.

    That's the flow, and the ability to lead her through those uncomfortable zones where your bodies are pulsating and your palms are sweaty and you can hear your heart in your throat suawking what you might feel is random nonsense.

    When you learn to talk to women and tailor the reaction around her in a way that she doesn't know you're doing it, you are getting better. To make it smoothe natural and effortless seems the best, although I think too smoothe attempting while doing it clumsily is not so good.

    You have to be able to bring her to these points, release them comfortably, and then bring her back to it again while showing her it is not much of an issue and you are still actually listening and responding to her.

    If that helps.
    I guess what I don't understand is how you can connect with a woman if you're tailoring yourself to her. :/ That is like a huge contradiction.

    You mentioned previously how she doesn't want you to just want her for sex, well, sorry to disappoint, but I do lol. So I'm finding it very hard to reconcile these contradictions and understand what exactly I should be accomplishing. Am I just an emotional vibrator? Is my sole purpose to stimulate her emotionally and "connect" with her?

    Do I just have shitty mindsets and need to change that? I just don't know anymore.

  9. #9
    Member cactus eyes's Avatar
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    "So I'm finding it very hard to reconcile these contradictions and understand what exactly I should be accomplishing."


    Yea, that is a very tough thing.

    It is why I am very open and nice to women, but my face is Ice fucking cold.

    Which is the same face you naturally have, so I can imagine how the women are reacting.

    They bat their eyes, walk in front of you, do weird things to try and get your attention. Without trying to make it look like they're doing it, because those Men that KNOW what she is doing will respond in some other manner that signals, "OK I see that, and now here's this.." and the Game is on.

    And the conversation will be slightlyy tailored to how you open her.

    "Am I just an emotional vibrator? Is my sole purpose to stimulate her emotionally and "connect" with her?"
    AHAHAH. I like that, I'm going to steal it. No you aren't an emotional vibrator.

    Well, I mean actually You ARE one, but only to certain women.

    Actually, this is a great fucking way to talk to women, but After you have built some Rapport and she is asking you questions and smiling with you and you two are kind of just bouncing funny little ideas into the air.

    Whether these little "ideas" are verbals, BL, EC, Kino, etc. is up to you. Eventually you learn which ones will work most efficiently at which time.

    Which is why this forum is so helpful once you actually start to see the use of some of the concepts people discuss here.


    And women do just want to use you for sex, but the right you.

    Do I just have shitty mindsets and need to change that? I just don't know anymore.
    This is the Biggest Hurdle. I don;t think you have shitty mindsets, I think you are just discovering more possibilities with different mindsets.

    This is the internalization that guys talk about. Growing with new mindsets and also out of old mindsets comes with the territory; and the more territory you explore, you will discover what is important and what is holding you back from exploring More of the territory you're trying to explore.

    Once you are tangibly out of your comfort zone it is easy to auto-reject or get flustered. Women are the same.
    In Ictu Oculi

  10. #10
    Member SargeMaximus's Avatar
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    This post has been ranked 10.00 out of 10 with 1 votes.

    Quote Originally Posted by cactus eyes View Post
    Once you are tangibly out of your comfort zone it is easy to auto-reject or get flustered. Women are the same.
    Good to know, guess we have that in common lol.

    I don't understand a lot of what you said, but I'll try and keep it in mind in the days ahead as I do more approaches.

    Btw, women are looking at my crotch more often. Good sign?

    That's a joke (the good sign bit, not the crotch bit, which is actually true).

    Anyway, thanks cactus.

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