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Thread: How do women get turned on?

  1. #1
    Member ThePoolPlayer's Avatar
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    How do women get turned on?

    Hey guys,

    I've always been confused by womens sexuality. Women cannot watch porn because it is all body parts and no emotion. While men can always do this.

    This confuses me as to how a women gets turned on as I only understand my own sexuality.

    I've always understood this to mean a girl needs some kind of connection with a man emotionally to get it up with him.

    But lately I've realized a lot of men go to bed with women within the first day meeting them and do not know much about them or build a emotiona connection much.

    Like for instance I met this girl in the day. And I immediately texted her sex talk and we agreed to have sex. I made sure she didn't know a thing about me or tallked nothing but sex because I didn't want to get into the relationship zone. So not much was known about me and no emotional connection yet this girl was saying she was wet.

    Men = body parts

    women = emotions/body parts

    This confuses me can you explain how a woman gets turned on by fast sex or by sex at all?

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    Excellent question! There are a lot of misunderstandings in this area.

    A few things to understand first:

    --Women watch porn just as much as we do. They will often say they don't watch it, but if you make fun of them for lying and ask what their favorite kind is, they will often acquiesce and give you the inside scoop. If they still deny (some will), tell them about your favorite kind of porn. If that doesn't get them talking about it...fuck em, they're boring! Most will respond by this point, with something like "yeah when I used to watch porn, my favorite kind was xyz." Which is when you say, "oh? what part of xyz gets you so turned on?" and then you watch her melt in front of you as she describes it :-)


    --Women are visually turned on as much as men are. There is a lot of debate over this, but everything I know about neurology, psychology, and attraction--combined with my own experience--leads me to believe that women get wet looking at a hot guy just as much as we get hard looking at a hot girl.

    --Some women require an emotional connection before sex, other do not. It is individual, and you can also bring out either side depending on how you frame yourself and approach the whole topic. For some women who do desire an emotional connection before sex, "flirting with you at the bar and deciding you're sexy and safe" is a sufficient emotional connection.

    --A woman's biggest sex organ is not her pussy, it is not her brain...it is her imagination. Women have wildly sexual, wildly vivid imaginative fantasies that they would never dream of telling most guys about (or even admitting it to their own girlfriends!)

    That guy who asked her on a date? He might be "the one." He might be really good in bed. He might be rich. Maybe he's famous? Maybe he can introduce her to all kinds of wild shit. It doesn't matter who he is, it is that the woman gets excited just imagining the possibilities.

    When they fuck a stranger they first time they meet him...that fulfills a fantasy!

    When they get tied up and gagged the first time...that fulfills a fantasy!

    The more taboo, the more exciting for the woman.

    What turns her on is her imagination and the possibilities it fantasizes about. Once you undrestand this basic principle, it can help to remove some Ego from Game (always a step forward!), and if you really want to get into it, you can learn to guide her imagination and narrate fantasies either by your actions or your words. Or both!

    Some of this "women need an emotional connection first" stuff, which is not remotely always true, is the result of asking MEN how WOMEN think, instead of simply being able to find resources by which WOMEN tell you EXACTLY how they think! Much of it here is overblown and only the male perspective.

    Two books I highly recommend everyone read:

    50 Shades of Grey, by some amateur writer who caught onto a good idea. If you know women who confide in you sexually, you will hear things like "I literally masturbated to every chapter." This book that women everywhere masturbate to, which also happened to be a #1 NY Times Best-Seller for a while (might still be?)...why any guy wouldn't want to read and understand that, is beyond my scope of comprehension. It is written like a romance novel, except for a couple (awesome) chapters written from the male lead's perspective.

    My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday.

    The second is a "clinical" collection of female sexual fantasies...it'll really blow the lid off.

    Plus you will have sex-talk material for the rest of your life....example:

    "Hey, have you heard of that book My Secret Garden? It's this wild collection of female fantasies, (explain a little more about it), there's this one where....(vivid description of fantasy in the book)."

    She will be sitting in a puddle by the time you finish the story. And plus, you're just telling the story of something you read, not trying to get her soaking wet with just your words....right?? ;-)

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    Member ThePoolPlayer's Avatar
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    Thank you ChitownMaverick! Very insightful answer and what a relief that girls do you have this kind of sexuality.

    Much love dude.

    I have fifty shades of grey but put it down due to how boring it was. Gonna open it again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThePoolPlayer View Post
    Thank you ChitownMaverick! Very insightful answer and what a relief that girls do you have this kind of sexuality.

    Much love dude.

    I have fifty shades of grey but put it down due to how boring it was. Gonna open it again.
    It IS boring/unreadable, if you read it for story or literary value. After all it IS a romance novel at heart.

    What you want to read for, is what kind of things Christian Grey does that gets Ana's "hamster wheel" spinning. What gets her excited, nervous, not sure, but really wants it, but is kind of scared, and could only do this with a guy like him...BE that guy!

    Be the guy who can safely and lovingly lead a woman through experiences she's always wanted but never had, and you have found the Holy Grail.

    A good rule of thumb, which I'm quoting from Mark Cunningham, is "It's only taboo the first time. After that, it's just what we do."

    Also pay attention to the way Christian structures his "punishments." Make her call you sir. Slap her if she doesn't. Tell her to beg for stuff, then make her ask permission to beg. All kinds of fun :-)

    CAVEAT!! He treats her like a beautiful woman when they are not in the "red room of pain," or whatever he called it. It's not really about pain, it's about pleasure, but Ana perceives it as pain. Whatever. The point is if you want to get into this stuff it is all about context.

    The same girl who loves to be slapped and called a slut BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, will rightfully leave your ass if you slap her or call her names in ANY other part of your life.

    It is the respect you show for her outside the bedroom, which allows her to be so naughty for you INSIDE the bedroom.

    Get it?

    Have fun

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    Member Dallaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChitownMaverick View Post
    Excellent question! There are a lot of misunderstandings in this area.

    --Women watch porn just as much as we do. They will often say they don't watch it, but if you make fun of them for lying and ask what their favorite kind is, they will often acquiesce and give you the inside scoop. If they still deny (some will), tell them about your favorite kind of porn. If that doesn't get them talking about it...fuck em, they're boring! Most will respond by this point, with something like "yeah when I used to watch porn, my favorite kind was xyz." Which is when you say, "oh? what part of xyz gets you so turned on?" and then you watch her melt in front of you as she describes it :-)

    Now I really wanna start asking girls what porn their into, watch the girls that I'm attracted to be into the same shit I am, Lmao! I wouldn't be surprised at all.

  6. #6
    Member mankite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dallaz View Post
    Now I really wanna start asking girls what porn their into, watch the girls that I'm attracted to be into the same shit I am, Lmao! I wouldn't be surprised at all.

    That wont work.


    Turned On .. is a sexual state that puts your bodies physiology into overdrive to prepare for the act of sexual intercourse.

    The mind is the most powerful sexual organ.

    You must trigger the mind to enter the STATE of being "turned on" and then LET HER BE IN HER STATE ... and you be in yours.

    Learn to trigger her various different states with language and tone and tempo and you will unlock the secret of turning a woman on sexually


    DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU CAN'T DO THIS .


    Pick any emotion .. angry, happy, calm, excited .. etc and start looking for the triggers to these emotional states. Learn how to trigger them and you will learn how to trigger her sexy .. excited .. tension charged state of being ..

    TURNED ON
    Have Fun
    MK

    "the most expensive thing a ever found was a woman who was FREE for the evening"
    Quote from my Father

  7. #7
    Member ThePoolPlayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChitownMaverick View Post
    It IS boring/unreadable, if you read it for story or literary value. After all it IS a romance novel at heart.

    What you want to read for, is what kind of things Christian Grey does that gets Ana's "hamster wheel" spinning. What gets her excited, nervous, not sure, but really wants it, but is kind of scared, and could only do this with a guy like him...BE that guy!

    Be the guy who can safely and lovingly lead a woman through experiences she's always wanted but never had, and you have found the Holy Grail.

    A good rule of thumb, which I'm quoting from Mark Cunningham, is "It's only taboo the first time. After that, it's just what we do."

    Also pay attention to the way Christian structures his "punishments." Make her call you sir. Slap her if she doesn't. Tell her to beg for stuff, then make her ask permission to beg. All kinds of fun :-)

    CAVEAT!! He treats her like a beautiful woman when they are not in the "red room of pain," or whatever he called it. It's not really about pain, it's about pleasure, but Ana perceives it as pain. Whatever. The point is if you want to get into this stuff it is all about context.

    The same girl who loves to be slapped and called a slut BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, will rightfully leave your ass if you slap her or call her names in ANY other part of your life.

    It is the respect you show for her outside the bedroom, which allows her to be so naughty for you INSIDE the bedroom.

    Get it?

    Have fun
    Get it. Gonna try to put this advice to good use.

  8. #8
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    I am a bit of a noob but as far as I know; a combination of Alcohol and laughter seems to work pretty well.

    On a serious note-Taken from one of Freud's documents on sexuality- Women get turned on through psychological rather than physical imagery, for example women prefer to imagine rather than watch, hence the popularity of erotic fiction amongst the feminine gender.

    But truly Humans are complicated creatures we are all very different, that's why i think looking for patterns and trying to make sense of our behaviours is a bit like trying to find order in a whirlpool of chaos.

    That's all from me.
    NDB- Next Dat Bitch.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChitownMaverick View Post
    Women watch porn just as much as we do.
    Not as much as me! But they do try their best to keep up.

    Caught this little gg asian trying to watch herself in the mirror while I fucked her earlier this year. Girls just love the visual stuff, porn and perving.
    Find a way to help her to do all the things she wants to.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChitownMaverick View Post
    ...
    --Women watch porn just as much as we do. They will often say they don't watch it, but if you make fun of them for lying and ask what their favorite kind is, they will often acquiesce and give you the inside scoop. If they still deny (some will), tell them about your favorite kind of porn. If that doesn't get them talking about it...fuck em, they're boring! Most will respond by this point, with something like "yeah when I used to watch porn, my favorite kind was xyz." Which is when you say, "oh? what part of xyz gets you so turned on?" and then you watch her melt in front of you as she describes it :-)


    --Women are visually turned on as much as men are. There is a lot of debate over this, but everything I know about neurology, psychology, and attraction--combined with my own experience--leads me to believe that women get wet looking at a hot guy just as much as we get hard looking at a hot girl.

    --Some women require an emotional connection before sex, other do not. It is individual, and you can also bring out either side depending on how you frame yourself and approach the whole topic. For some women who do desire an emotional connection before sex, "flirting with you at the bar and deciding you're sexy and safe" is a sufficient emotional connection.

    --A woman's biggest sex organ is not her pussy, it is not her brain...it is her imagination. Women have wildly sexual, wildly vivid imaginative fantasies that they would never dream of telling most guys about (or even admitting it to their own girlfriends!)
    ...
    Hmmm... CTM, some of your ideas don't agree with each other. As men we are very attached to the idea that women get turned on by porn just like we do. Imagination is the capacity to form images without visual stimuli. Women are best at this, men are lazy and like prefab images thrown at them. Trying to use your imagination while watching explicit porn is like trying to compose a symphony in your head at a punk rock concert. Women will watch porn with their partners because it gets their partners horny. For many women watching porn is as boring as reading 50 Shades of Gray is for many men. They'll do it, they can even get into it, but it's a distant second best to reading a trashy novel that lets their imagination work. Your experience might be tainted. If you pressure a woman the way you described, she will confess to what her favorite time period is on The History Channel too. It doesn't mean she's a history buff. And if you think I somehow don't get the honest truth from women check out some of LoverGirl's old posts on watching porn. She doesn't strike me as a prude.

    To OP: don't overthink the words "emotion/ emotional connection". Men are a little clumsy with emotions. It takes us longer to get one and to move on to another. Emotions for women are like erections for men. They can get them (and lose them) on the spot. Women are more fluid in the "emotion" world. As you found out, fantasy is the way to go. Your passion lights up their fantasy.
    It's not that they can't watch porn, it's just boring. They complain that the actors are bored, not passionate, and that it's all mechanics. Also the images are fixed and the action pretty formulaic.

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