This is a reply I wrote on my own forum to a guy who had asked a question using this typical male thought process, which you will all recognize as being the template of practically every question posted on this forum. No offence to him or anyone -- I'm just trying to illustrate the difference between male and female thinking, and why this kind of thought process is essentially irrelevant.
The question is, was she attracted to you? If you don't know, then it means she probably wasn't. When a woman is attracted to you, it is just obvious -- you can just "feel" it in the air. Everything is different. Everything feels electric.I met up with a woman and all this happened [insert irrelevant details], and I'm not sure if she was attracted to me or not. Where do I go from here in order to get this woman?
Even if she was attracted however, that doesn't mean anything is going to happen in the future. If you invite her out now, she'll probably say no even if she was attracted during the earlier interaction. Why? Because now you're not around and she's not feeling that same emotion.
There is a key difference between male and female thinking, but I've never really seen it written out properly, on any forum, so I'll make the attempt now.
A man's mind is quite "episodic" in the way its memory works. That means you assemble a memory of an experience with another human being as a series of "facts" (from your perspective) about what happened, how you felt, and what that person is like. Those facts can be used to make informed judgments later on when dealing with that person again, independent of how that person is behaving now. So, for example, if you have a major problem with another man, when you meet him next, even if he's being really nice and making you feel different, you still have those "facts" on record about the unpleasantness which happened last time, and you can use those facts to influence your response to him and make a more informed decision about how to proceed. This is called JUDGMENT.
Women do not particularly think like this. And this is what most men really don't understand, especially when they are writing posts such as yours (no offence, this is just an almost universally misunderstood thing). It makes the whole "timeline" element, the "narrative" or "story" part of your experience with her, irrelevant.
Let me explain. If you meet her and you're in that attractive mood, "state", mindset or whatever, and you can just feel that she's attracted to you, everything feels electric, and awesome, then that right there is "the moment". You can literally just find somewhere to go, and have sex with each other. She is in the grip of her emotions, and this renders her "episodic" memory -- the "facts" -- completely irrelevant, and temporarily wiped from her mind. That is why it's so easy for women to cheat on their boyfriends and things. Having been the one causing girls to cheat on their boyfriends these last several months, I can tell you, their emotions just take over them like that *snaps fingers* and they can't focus on anything besides you right there in the moment.
Now this is where it gets interesting. You can be a complete nerd and not attractive in any form when you first meet her. Yet, next time you bump into her, if you (for whatever reason) are in that awesome attractive state, she will just magically be attracted to you. Her "nerd" impression of you from last time just gets wiped from her memory. At this point she will often say things such as, "You're different!" or find "new" things about you to like, e.g. "I like your new jacket!" or whatever. These are just rationalizations. Women are very "split personality" like this, because their emotions grip them SO HARD -- especially sex drive and attraction. You can literally fuck something up completely the first time you see her, but if you're "on" the next time, all will be forgotten.
Do you understand now why all the "facts" you've put in your original post -- the "story" of "what happened" -- are irrelevant? It's either "on" or it's not, and if it's on, the moment to fuck her is NOW. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Due to this "split personality" effect she has when her emotional state is different, your text asking her out will just register as just another guy hassling her for sex and she'll blow you off, or maybe meet up with you if she hasn't had male attention for a while. Your behaviour during the last meet-up however is largely irrelevant in her decision. She'll base her decision more on "Have I been on enough dates recently?" (so it's more about just meeting some societal expectation of her that exists only in her mind, than it is because she truly remembers much about you).
This "split personality" women have due to emotional grip, by the way, is the reason women can keep going back to boyfriends who beat them. When she's away from her abusive boyfriend, and she's in physical pain from the injuries, and all her friends and family are telling her she needs to get out of that situation (social pressure), and she's really feeling like shit as a result of all this, she is one person. But when she sees him again, and he exerts that powerful attractive effect over her, all the previous stuff temporarily gets forgotten, and she is suddenly a different person. They fuck (which grips her emotionally even more), she gets back with him, then the cycle repeats.
Now, I'm not saying men don't do this. They definitely do. It's just that the threshold does seem to be rather higher before men start to exhibit this "split personality" effect. One strong example is addictions. When I was addicted to gambling, I was one person when in the remorseful emotional state. But quite another, with different memories and thought processing styles, at the moment the addictive urge took its hold over me.
So, let's get back to your situation in your original post, here, to bring closure to all of this. All your thoughts about "what happened" are basically irrelevant. If you text her to ask her out or whatever right now, she will most likely say no regardless of how she felt while with you, for reasons explained above. Girls just generally don't agree to meet up with guys, because they're being asked literally all the time. This is why Brent Smith says there is never any excuse for pursuing a woman -- you are just triggering her automatic programmed behaviours from years of experience which tell her, "This is just another guy trying to get me, the same as all the rest -- ignore!!" There is a difference if you have already had sex with her and given her a great sexual experience. In this case, her emotional memory of you can be strong enough to put her back partially into that state and have her want to meet up with you for a repeat performance. However, even that is not a guarantee. The point is not to get caught up with any particular woman.
Your thoughts about her right now are completely irrelevant for all the reasons stated above. It doesn't mean beat yourself up or try and stop thinking about it all, it just means be aware that thinking about it won't change anything. It does mean learn what "attractive states" look like, and how you personally reach them. I just take phenibut these days, since it solves all my problems. When you're in that good state, when you feel she is attracted and everything is electric, that's when you have sex with her. Anything outside that timeframe -- all your thoughts, feelings and memories of the situation -- are irrelevant. They won't change anything. So, rather than use this time to over-analyse and focus on this one specific woman, instead use it to:
a) Work on "changing your story". A Brent Smith video about this can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPkPMp0haLs
So just use this time to practise your new story. I have mine in a Word document, which I read and refine every day while visualizing telling a friend the story in the exact natural tone of voice as though it is true for me right now. I try and speak it in my head as if I'm telling the truth how it is for me now -- and when any resistive emotions come up (cognitive dissonance) against this, I just let those emotions go and continue. For the record, things have been going great for me since I started doing this.
b) Visualize meeting a new woman, or even this same woman, and having it go awesome from the start, all the way through to sex. So rather than "debugging" the past, you just construct a new perfect future timeline that doesn't need debugging. This doesn't mean get caught up and overly focused upon the woman you put in the visualization (always a oneitis danger, especially during times of scarcity). It just means use her as a template for how interactions with all women can go, in the future.
These days if I fuck something up with a woman I don't even worry about it at all, since I know that next time, if I'm "on", her memory will just erase itself anyway, and she'll be attracted to me. It's all about emotional states -- yours and hers. Finally, I will add one more observation. If you did fuck things up last time, the quickest and most powerful way to have her "wipe" that memory and start being attracted to you instantly -- even more powerfully than just if you are "in state" -- is for you to be "in state" with another woman and who therefore is clearly attracted to you while the other woman is watching. Really, jealousy is the ultimate conversion factor for having women become interested in you again. I'm sure you could have killed her mother but, if you're seen interacting attractively with another woman (the more beautiful the better), her memory will be wiped and she'll be attracted to you again. I have converted some of the most unlikely situations in this way, and, if you're talking to women often, you will regularly be in this situation anyway, and therefore often have things working in your favour in this way.