Ok, the title may seem somewhat confusing, don’t worry about that, all will make sense at the end (I hope).
So, this is mainly a post for young girls, either because they have non/little experience or they are just immature. Most young women (and by this I mean girls not even 18) are afraid of talking about sex. It’s just you say sex and they go like: “oh no! He’s talking about sex! God will come down from the heaveny skies and cock-slap me all over the face!”. So, I’ve been struggling with this a long time. I wanted to make it sexual because I don’t want to end up advising her about the dress he’s going to put for a date with some dude that happened to have more balls than me, but I can’t mention sex, so I eventually came up with this.
I needed something between an euphemism and a metaphor. I have never liked euphemisms because them sound lame to me, like trying too hard to not sound gross, and you actually end up sounding double gross, also, everybody have euphemisms associated with the thing they want to replace, so practically speaking it’s just the same. Also, I don’t know any good euphemisms for having kinky sex against the wall, so I needed something new. You can create one that fits you better, but I think I found the perfect one for me, and that’s “WATCHING A MOVIE”;) . The “” and the wink are very important when you say it by text, when you say it face to face I just either wink or make my “if you know what I mean” smile and look in the eyes.
The way I throw this is introducing the concept on a first conversation (I’ve never got a snl with this) with something along the lines whenever you get to talk about movies, a very common topic:
-“I was talking about something the other day with some friends” (in Spanish and Catalan which are my main languages there’s a different word for male friends and female friends, I always use the feminine one, for you asexual Englishmen just come up with something else).
-“We were just talking about.. when someone invites someone to watch a movie, like it’s obvious what he’s inviting her for, they both know it but still they play the role of the innocent”
They always agree with this and even tell me stories about sometime when a guy invited them to see a movie, and they always find it funny. I just introduced the concept, and whenever I want to talk about sex I just say “watching a movie ;)” instead.
Then I usually tell them how I once invited a girl to “watch a movie” and as she entered I said: “it seems that the DVD won’t play the disk, let’s jump to the final credits”.
If you are good with metaphors you can play a lot with this, I tell them How I like to watch fast and furious rather than romantic boring movies, that always gets a laugh from her, if I just told her I like hard sex she would rather have a really different reaction. That’s the importance of playing it cool and confident, if you play it as funny she will enter your game.
I haven’t tried it with older and more mature women, but I think it’s not the best idea, you should just talk about sex if you see that she doesn’t creep out, and always be confident and natural when talking about it, that should make it.
Hit it with comments or questions.